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says: " It is not good that the man
should
be
alone; 1 will make a help
suitable for him."
Man, througbout the Bible, means
all humans. And
al/
human beiogs
need a partner witb wbom they can
share their triumphs and sorrows,
their laughter and their tears, their
appreciation of a beautiful sunset–
or the toothless grin of their firstborn
child. They ·need to share-in fact, to
be complete tbey
must
sbare-their
plans, their hopes, tbeir dreams.
Marriage presents a cballenge
where man must go beyond hims.elf
and develop in many ways. He then
becomes a more mature and under–
standing human being.
If
a marriage
is reduced to two people merely coex–
isting, living under the same roof
while remaining
separated
in their
deepest hopes, feelings and aspira–
tions, then tbat marriage has com–
pletely missed its goal.
Concept of Family Kingdom
Another important element in mar–
riage is that of children. The family
is the building block, the foundation
of a ll decent society..And the strong–
est link in many a family is often its
smallest member.
There is an old saying: "A man's
borne is bis castle." This analogy
should apply to bis entire family,
where he is the king; bis wife, the
beloved queen; and bis children, the
royal princes and princesses who need
training to fulfill their future responsi–
bilities. So the parents enthusiastical–
ly work together to ensure that these
future leaders a re carefully nurtured,
guided, disciplined and trained for the
important roles tbey must play in
years tocome.
The intelligent and joyous blend–
ing of these two concepts in mar–
riage- the open and loving union of
the bodies, hearts and minds of the
married couple, and the creation of
the vital "family kingdom"- such a
blending can and should produce an
opportunity and an atmosphere
where men and women can find com–
plete fulfillment.
This fulfillment is pictured by the
Psalmist: " Biessed is every one that
feareth the Lord; that walketh in his
ways .... Tby wife shall be as a
fruitful vine by the sides of thine
34
house: thy children like olive plants
round about thy table" (Ps.
128:1, 3).
Put These Concepts to Work
Once you fully grasp these concepts
relating to the meaning and purpose
of marriage, why not set about build–
ing your marriage and your borne
around them?
Instead of the husband and wife
being bored and disinterested in
sbaring eacb otber's thougbts, botb
sbould be vitally interested in the
miniature family kingdom whicb, to–
gether, they are energetically build–
ing. There should be a purposeful
common interest in teaching and
training their children, in improving
their borne and their financia) posi–
tion and in planning for the future.
Their
future.
For in a truly bappy marriage, it is
not "my house," "my car," or even
"my paycheck." Rather, whether ex–
pressed in words or in total attitude,
it should be "our house, our car, our
income, our future. "
And so the mutual attitude should
constantly be looking forward and
planning for improvements in your
"castle," your borne. The wife's feel–
ings, a·nd ber understanding and ex–
pertise in borne decoration, landscap–
ing, appliances, etc., should always
be taken into account. Every major
purchase (such as a borne or a car)
should be a
family project- afford–
ing the opportunity and benefit of a
sharing experience between husband
and wife.
Nothing to talk about?
No, everytbing to talk about and
share. That is tbe correct answer.
Without being silly or unrealistic
about it, husbands and wives should
think of themselves as "partners" in
a great adventure- in building a ca–
reer, a business, a life,
together.
Tbey
should talk over details regarding
their mutual allies- their friends,
business associates and relatives.
With the wife entering wholly into
the discussion, they should plan their
mutual strategy and discuss in detail
what each can contribute to bring
their goals in life closer to reality.
Then there are the children. What
an area of discussion, planning, mu–
tual problem solving and heartfelt
sbaring of hopes and dreams they
provide!
Each chi ld is different. Yet hus–
bands and wives sbould identify to–
tally with each personality which
their love has produced. A marriage
will be strengthened if the parents
take the time to discuss tbe abi li ties
and shortcomings of each of tbeir
children and how they can guide
them, nurture them and help prepare
tbem for full and successful lives.
When Tragedy Strikes
Of course a ll is not peaches and
cream in any marriage. The busband
may lose hís job. One of the cbildren
may be seriously injured. Somehow,
tragedy seems to strike all of us in
one way or another in the course of a
normal life.
If
they meet tragedy together,
man and wife will be drawn even
closer. Often, a real setback will
spark communication and a sense of
sharing that may bave been previous–
ly lacking. A couple need each other
more than ever at such a time.
The willingness of each partner to
sympathize and truly seek to under–
stand bis or her mate is paramount.
Anything that can break down the
barriers of pride, selfishness, insensi–
tivity and coldness is serving a good
purpose.
For a marriage without deep and
beartfelt communication is no mar–
riage at all.
Those who are thoughtless and
selfish can easily find duties or dis–
tractions to avoid a heart-to-heart
talk with their mate. Many married
people fear this type of communica–
tion. They are somehow afraid of
opening up in depth. They are always
"too busy." They never find the time
to truly explore the heart and mind,
the hopes and dreams of tbe very one
to whom they are united for life-<me
who may be practically bursting with
desire to be included in the life and
thoughts of her beloved .
Even when on vacation such indi–
viduals find dist ractions. And at
borne they may cultivate a circle of
charming friends-friends who help
fill in the time and enable them
gracefully to avoid a long, completely
candid, heartfelt talk with their
mate.
The PLAIN TRUTH August 1979