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write that "anger .. . is one of the
most important features of depres–
sion that has to be dealt with. All
depressions are loaded with angry
feelings, and unless they are re–
lieved in one way or another, it is
almost impossible to overcome feel–
ing depressed"
(The Book of Hope,
Macmillan Publishing Company,
1976,
p.
40).
They suggest that a depressed per- .
son be honest with herself, realize she
is angry, and express that anger in a
safe and appropriate way. In other
words,
do
something about what she
feels instead of stewing over it or
suppressing it or ignoring it.
HowtoCope
Ifyou are depressed, there are several
other things besides releasing nega–
tive emotions that can help you cope
with a bout ofdepression, First, ifyou
feel listless or paralyzed, force your–
self to get up and move. Exercise at
least once a day. Get out ofthe house
if at all possible.
Find somebody you can trust, and
open up to them-talk about what's
troubling you. Let your family and
friends know you are not up to par,
and don't overextend yourself so–
cially. It helps to see people, but
usually it's better to keep visits short
and uncomplicated.
Set one or more short-range goals
and plan how you're going to
achieve them. Or find sorne activity
you like and do it on a regular basis
so you have something to look for–
ward to.
If you are a homemaker, realize
that you have an important and
honorable role in society. There is
nothing intrinsically "second class"
about a domestic role in life! Home–
making is a vitally important profes–
sion in any human society, and it
also often provides unique opportu–
nities in the form of relatively abun–
dant leisure time which can be put
to pleasant use.
And above aH, remember that de–
pressions are not permanent. They
do go away. Dr. Aaron
T.
Beck, di–
rector of the Mood Clinic at the
Hospital of the University of Penn–
sylvania, has worked with depressed
people for 20 years. He says that
"the real tragedy of depression is
not that it is hopeless, but that it
isn' t. Not at all. So little of aH tbe
The
PLAIN TRUTH January 1978
T
he
authors of
The
Boo1c
of
Hope
give excellent
sugges–
tions for what they
ca1l
tbe "self–
effacing" or "love-addicted"
per–
sonality who oompulsively
picases
everyone but herself
in
order
to
gain approval.
Sudl
unhealthy be–
havior (catering
to
otbers at the
expense of her
own
real needs)
can
lead
to
depression. and needs
to
be
recognized
and overcome. Here
are tbose suggestions:
1)
Your problem is that you will
not assert yourself.
So
try
small
experiments in speaking up. Give
your opinion whether you agree or
disagree.
If
you
are
afraid to state
your opinion,
try
asking a pertinent
question. You can
try
tbis out first
with people you know well.
2)
Remember that you are
"allowed"
to
express your feel–
ings- even when you
are
annoyed.
This is your right. You dop't have
to
say
to
someone who has upset
you, "You're a mean person." You
can say,
"1
felt ·badly when you
said tbat tome."
3)
Practice giving an order or
stating a wish without sounding
apologetic. Practice until you have
what you want
to
say down pat.
You can actually write down what
you want
to
say, look at it and read
it several times. Or you can say
what you have
to
say out loud and
repeat it at least five times. You
will find tbat when you are oon–
fronting the person with whom
you have to deal, the things you
want
to
say
will
come out of your
mouth with much less difficulty. If
suffering is necessary. The great ma–
jority of patients, if they don't com–
mit suicide, will .come out of it, at
least until the next crisis. You'll get
complete recovery from an episode
70%·
to
95%
of the time. Among
kids,
95%....
And apart from that,
therapy can help."
Depression may be a "gray men–
ace" but it can be conquered on an
individual basis. And someday a
healthy society that values individ–
ual dignity and respects the worth of
you
don' t
suc:ceed in
tbis
tbe first
few times, keep trying it because it
is
exttaordinarily useful
if
you can
get it
to
work.
4)
Practice
asking for favors,
if
this
is difficult for you. Don't
sound apologetic and don't oonvey
your
guilt,
even if you feel it. Fol–
low the suggestion above about
practice.
S) When you feel someone has
put you
down,
speak up. Ask in
your most oourteous fashion if
they have indeed done
wha~
you
thinlc they have. Make it a true
question. ("Were you trying
to
put
me down?") Even
if
it doesn't em–
ban:ass the other
person,
he or she
will
at least
realize
that you' re not
sUch a pushover and
will
be less
likety
to
try
it again.
6) When someone asks for
something, instead of automati–
cally saying yes,
tell
them to wait
while
you put down the phone. Or
say you'll
think
about it and let
them know the next day. Ask your–
self:
Do
1
want
to
do what is asked
of me? Don't automatically or
compulsively comply. Having
taken the time,
try
to prepare in
your mind what your reason is for
not wanting
to
do tbe favor, and
then present that in as reasonable
a way as you can. People aren' t
always ready to jump on you when
you reCuse them something.
(Excerpt from
The Book of Hope,
by Heleo A. DeRosis and Victoria
Y. Pellegrino, 1976. Reprinted
with permission of Macmíllan
Publishing Co., lnc.)
each member of the family unit will
replace today's dehumanizing, de–
pression-producing system. o
ADDITIONAL READING
Helen A. DeRosis and Victoria Y. Pelle–
grino.
The Book ot Hope,
Macmillan
Publishing Co., Inc., 1976.
· Dorothy Jongeward and Dru Scott,
Women as Winners,
Addison-Wesley
Publishing Company, 1976.
Principies ot Healthful Living
(booklet)
(For your free copy write to the address
nearest you. See inside front cover.)
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