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children may fiee from you when
they are able, just as the inmates of
the concentration camps fied from
their Nazi persecutors whenever
they had the chance.
Many children have run away
from home because of the intolerant
behavior of parents. Each week
thousands of children run away
from their bornes all over the world.
Don't push your children into mak–
ing a similar mistake which they'll
regret later. Don't make discipline
your onJy form of child rearing!
Training in Making Decisions
When your child is a baby, you
must make all his decisions for him.
You decide what he will eat, what
clothes he will wear, where he will
go and when. As he gets older, you
can give him more freedom in these
areas. Still maintaining overall su–
pervision, you should grad ually
widen the area in which you let him
make decisions.
Let your child decide what colors
to use in his coloring book. Then,
what clothes to wear. Stilllater, give
him a chance to decide how to
spend part of his savings or allow–
ance.
Let him even decide to buy some–
thing, occasionally, that may be a
waste of money. Better for him to
waste a little when he is young and
learn from it than to lose much
more when he is older, with the re–
sponsibility of a wife and child of
bis own. Unfortunately, many have
not learned the right use of money
until the stakes are so high that per–
manent damage is done to their
marriage and financia! security.
God is teaching you to decide-on
your own. He calls it building char–
acter. He guides you, giving you the
principies involved; warningyou that
obeying His laws brings blessings,
and not obeying them brings curses.
He gives case studies in His Word. He
even commands you to choose His
way. But the final decision is in your
hands. As God's son or daughter, you
must decide-and bear the con–
sequences of your decisions.
So teach your children to make
decisions. When they start school,
they will have to decide with which
friends to spend time, what books to
read, and later, whether to engage
in premarital sex and drug use. You
20
will not be there to guide them at
each crucial, decisive moment. They
will have to decide by themselves.
Equip them for that ahead of time!
Give them practice now in making
sound decisions.
The key is to have areas in which
your child can feel free to make up
his own mind. You decide whether
he should put his hand into a fire.
You dictate to him about going into
the street. Those areas are not for
him to decide for himse.lf. But is it
really so crucial which playsuit he
wears? Or what toys he plays with,
as long as they are suitable for the
time and place?
Your daughter may feel she has
invented a newway to sew. You know
it won't work. Explain it to her. Show
her why it won't work, without mock–
ing her for coming up with such a
childish idea. l f she doesn't feel you
know what you are talking about, Jet
her try it! When it doesn't work for
exactly the reasons you said, she will
learn more than sewing.
And she will see you aren't as
ignorant as she might have
thought- which will be crucial for
her when she is seventeen and de–
ciding about avoiding drugs or sex
before marriage- or whether to
marry Freddie anyway when you
tell her it would be a bad match.
But leave off the "1-told-you-sos"
which only serve to tickle your van–
ity and widen the gap between you
and your child.
Main Principie of Rulership
You are the ruler of your child. But
you need to realize the cornerstone
principie for God's type of ruler–
ship. "Ye know that the princes of
the Gentiles exercise dominion over
them, and they that are great exer–
cise authority upon them," said
Jesus Christ. "But
il
shall not be so
among you:
but whosoever will be
great among you, let him be your
minister; and whosoever will be
chief among you, let him be your
servant"
(Matt. 20:25-27).
Have you ever thought of it this
way? You are your child's servant.
You are to serve him by preparing
him for adulthood- not like adema–
gogue who will not tolerate any
ditference of opinion, nor any dele–
gating of decision making, but like a
wise -teacher, instructing your child
in the ways to make proper deci–
sions. He can only learn that by
practice. And practice implies sorne
mistakes. Your job is to make sure
they are little mistakes. not life-shat–
tering ones.
How much better it is to serve the
children God has given you by help–
ing them to !earn that they do need
their parents' advice as they walk
the road of life. How much better
that they learn that when mom and
dad say "no," there is usually a very
good reason. They have seen the
proof. Let them get used to admit–
ting, " 1 was wrong," without shame
or jeering.
lf you rule your children Christ's
way, they will want your rule. They
will learn it is for their good. They
won't feel fettered by it , as if bound
in a straitjacket. They will be free in
it. They will respect you for it. And
God. will guarantee them a long,
happy life for respecting their par–
ents (Ex. 20:12; Eph. 6:1-3).
What to Teach Your Chlld
There are many other things to
teach your child to prepare him to
be a godly adult.
First, teach him to express him–
self. You can do this by letting a
smaller child go over the day's
events before bedtime. Sure, listen–
ing to him recount an event that
happened while you were at work
can require patience- but it's often
profitable to the storyteller.
You should also teach your child
to express himself by listening to
and answering his questions- not
squelching them. Treat his " foolish"
questions with respect. A question
that sounds nonsensical to you must
have been in his mind before it
carne out of his mouth. And if it was
there, it needs an answer!
Also, one q uestion lays the
groundwork for others. Sometimes
the proper answer to one of these
questions, if heeded, will save the
child untold trouble. Too many par–
ents squelch the "silly" questions, so
they never get a chance to hear the
big ones!
Third, teach your child to do
things. Ever see a young boy stand–
ing awkwardly beside a swimming
pool while all his friends are swim–
ming enthusiastically? He can't
swim. He is self-conscious. An out-
The
PLAIN TRUTH October-November 1977