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Obedient
by
Robert E. Fahey
Child~en
Some parents are making a fatal mistake iru
:.1..
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their child rearing and heading for heart-
e
N
break in the years ahead. You could be
ot
one of them. lf making your children
obedient is your only goal, you wi/1 probably find
En
h'
yourself with an uphi/1 battle for 10 to 20 years,
QIJ(T
ending with disappointment and a generation gap.
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W
hat do you wish to ac–
complish in trainin g
your child? Have you
ever s1opped to consider?
What overriding goal do you
have in mind as the ultimate end
point ofapproximatcly twen ty years
of feeding, clothing, protecti ng a nd
teaching you r offspring from in–
fancy on through chi ldhood and the
teenage years?
Unless you can see, and con–
sciously work 1oward 1he right goal.
right results cannot be guaranteed.
What ls the Right Goal?
The overall purpose of your child
rearing should be to develop your
children into balanced, happy. ma–
ture, well-adjusted. godly adults.
Th ey will need to become capable,
reliable persons prcpared for the re–
sponsibility of adulthood, and the
problems of adullhood. ldea lly they
should be able to takc 1heir place in
socie1y without the hang-ups and
complexes you have had 10 figh1 all
lhesc years! T hat hould be your
overall goal.
So how would you approach such
a goal? Obviously 1hc best of all
examples to look to is that of your
spi ri1ual Falher. God Himself is 1he
ultima1e Master in right child rear–
ing.
More Than Just Punishment and
Obedience
Sorne pa rents seem to think their
only job is to discipline. They seem
10 feel the only thing 1ha1 counts is
obedience. Why? Actually i1's often
just because they are so selfish. Such
The
PLAIN TRUTH October-November 1977
pa ren ts just want 1he ir children
to
s ta y ou t of their hair- to not
"bother" them. Othcrs may strive to
have obedient children for vanity'
sake. When friends or relatives visit,
they show off. "Sil down !" "Go to
your room! " thcy bark. Their chil–
dren obedi ently trot off to bed.
Guests are supposed 10 be im–
pressed.
Bul what if 1hc only way God
worked with you was through dis–
cipline? Whal if every error received
a sound whack? What if evcry
wrong thought, selfish act, foolish
mis take resu lted in so rnany swats?
Wha t if not one sin passed unno–
ticed, and lhere was no warmlh. no
!ove, no evidence thal God was con–
cerned for you, excepl for a contin–
ua! rain of swats, spiri 1u al
spa nkings. and a cons tan! stern
" no" booming in you r ea rs?
You wou ld becorne so discour–
aged, so despondent and terribly
unhappy, that if you didn't openly
rebel , you would turn inward, and
your personality would shrivel up.
You would feel that you could never
really accomplish what your Father
cxpected of you. And so you wou ld
probably quil trying-excepl jusi
enough to keep from gelting
"swa1s."
Your children will reac1 the sarne
way if trealed that way! And you
will someday wondcr why your chi l–
dren. who seerncd so obedient as
youngsters, havc bccome so distant.
so heartless and unfeeling, as adults.
Discipline alonc will not work!
Sorne parents havc tried it and ulti–
mately bave come to say something
like this: " 1 have spanked him till
1
am blue in the face and he still
doesn't obey me." Something im–
portan! is lacking.
Your spiri1ual Father is known
for His !ove and merey. Even when
He punishes. He doesn't give you
wha t you really deserve. Rather, H is
heart is turned toward you. He for–
gives. Do your children think of you
as merciful. like your heavenly
Father? Is your heart turned toward
them and their hearts toward you,
with warmth, trust and affeclion?
A prophesied charac1eri stic of
God's end-tirnc Work, bearin g to
the world the last warning message
before Christ's return and preparing
lhe way for His appearance. is ex–
pressed in the prophecy of Malachi
4:6: "And he shallturn 1he heart of
the fathers to the children, and the
heart of the childre n to th e ir
fathers ... .' '
Is your son's or daughter's heart
lurned toward you? ls you rs turned
tOward him or her? If not , your ba–
sic approach to child rearing is
wrong.
God gives you more 1han merey.
He constan1 ly works to encourage
you. He makes you laugh joyfully.
He rewa rds your efforts with bless–
ings. leading you gradually along
1he right way. This is 1he way you
must lead your children.
Child rearing is synonymous with
!ove a nd character building. Dis–
cipline is a part of both. But so are
encouragement. atrection. listening
and posi1ive inslruction. l f ternpo–
rary obedience is your goal, and you
use only discipline to get it, your
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