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or mistakes they may be rnaking.
And they can teach their children
not to make the same mistakes. Half
the battle is understanding what the
problems are. Most of the other half
is a willingness to work at changing
and overcoming them.
What , then, causes divorce?
Counselors on marriage and the
family find it difficult to pin down
the exact causes of divorce.
There is a higb correlation be–
tween divorce and the business
cycle. More divorces are granted
during times of prosperity than dur–
ing times of depression. City fam–
ilies have a higher rate of divorce
than do rural farm fam il ies. T he
working class suffers more divorce
than the professional class.
The femin ist movernent, in–
creased modern mobility, mixed
marriages (ethnic as well as racial),
longer lifetimes, end of parenthood,
and easier divorce are also cited as
factors related to divorce.
More specifically, it is known that
there is a high correlation between a
husband's job income and marital
happiness and stability.
Jt
takes
money to buy food, clothing, shel–
ter, and to enjoy occasional enter–
tainment. At the same time, there is
a direct relationship between how
much education a couple has and
their 'Chances for a stable. happy
marriage.
Acquaintanceship
Two extremely 1mportant factors.
almost essential for the successful
marriage. are the length of ac–
quaintance and Lhe length of the
engagement period prior to mar–
nage. This is something every
couple should consíder when fhmk–
ing about marriage.
PLAIN TRUTH
lvlay
•974
There's a higher probability of di–
vorce among couples who have
short acquaintanceships and short
or no engagement periods than for
couples who have longer acquaint–
anceships and longer engagement
periods prior to marriage. The rea–
son? It takes time to get to know a
future mate and have important
questions answered.
Ifyou're thinking about marriage,
ask yourself:
Do
we have similar
educational backgrounds? Are we
relatively equal mentally? Do we
share similar values, religion, aspi–
rations, and goals? Do we want chil–
dren? Do we agree on how money
should be spent? Can we be open
and frank with each other? Are we
in good heal th? Are we emotiona lly
stable? Will our social backgrounds
be compatible?
A serious cause of divorce that
young couples should be especially
objective in weighing is marrying at
too early an age.
Marrying Too Young
People who marry too young are
playing against a stacked dcck. Of
course. not all couples who marry
young end their marriages by di–
vorce. Many teen-age marriages
stay bappy and stable for life. You
may know ofsome. Yours may even
be one. However, the chances of
having a lifelong, haRPY marriage
are less for those marrying in teen–
age than for those who marry at an
older age.
Studies have shown that men who
marry in their late twenties have
consJstently low probabilttie!> of di–
vorce m comparison to men who
marl) earlier. The same re!>earch re–
veals that women who marry before
the age of 20 are twice as likely Lo
become d1vorced a!> those ' who
marry later.
Couples marrying too young gen–
erally lack sufficient financia! re–
sources to properly maintain a
marriage and family. The husband
may not yet have proved himself to
be a capable provider.
More often than not, a young
couple has not really gotten to know
each other well enough. Their dat–
ing pattern has been limited to mov–
ies and necking in the back seat of a
car or van. They haven't really gol–
ten into the nitty gritty questions
mentioned earlier.
Finally. those who marry too
young usually have unrealistic ex–
pectations of what marriage is. Un–
realistic expectations of marriage
are. in fact. a common reason why
many marriages fail. regardless of
how old each mate is when he or she
marries.
A look at Unrealistic
Expectations
L.
M. Terman conducted a study
of 792 marned couples to discover
whtch personahty traJts are the ma–
JOr causes of marital
unhappines~.
He asked each mate
10
list the com–
plaints they had agamst the other,
complaints they felt were maktng
their marnage unhappy. Terman
carne up with a list of the 28 most
common complaints wives have
against their husbands and the 28
most common complaints husbands
have against their wives.
These are the major complamts
wives had against their husbands:
selfish and incons1dera te. untruth–
ful, complains too much, does not
show atfectton. does not talk thmgs
over. harsh w1th children. touchy.
ba!> no interest in children. not mter–
ested in home. rude. lacks amb1tion.
tmpatJent. critJCJzes. poor manager
ot
income narrow-m1nded. not
faithful. lazy. bored w1th sma!J talk.
ught w1th money . msuffictent m-