Basic HTML Version
February 1972
Factor
Personality
Education
Dating history
Courtship
Reason for marnage
Pregnancy
Parental altitudes
Wedding
Tbe
PLAIN TRUTH
Cheekllst for •arltal Sueeess
Marital Failure
lmmature, few interests, poor personal and social
adjustment. limited interpersonal skills
Dropouts
Started to date early; went steady early; premarital
sexual involvement
Hurried; less than six month's acquaintance; no
engagement period
Impulse. "on a dare," premarital pregnancy, to
escape boredom or failure, because everyone
else ts
Premarital conception
Opposed the marrlage. rejecting the mate. grudging
assistance
Elopement and civil ceremony
Marital Success
Mature, flextble, well adjusted, and generally
competent in lnterpersonal relationships
At least high school graduation and sorne further
education for both
General social skills with members of both sexes
developed 1n dating; gradual love develop–
ment
Several years' courtship relatíonship; at least síx
months' engagement
Desire for home and family; to establish a deep,
meaningful relationship with beloved
Pregnancy delayed untll year following marriage
Supportive; provide assistance with respect for
young couple's autonomy; consult young pair upon
occasion
Conventional,
hometown,
church-sanctioned;
family and friends present
11
Economic basis
Uncertain income, poor-paying jobs, little security
of employment, help from relatives urgently
needed
Realistic planning on known income, husband wtth
salable skills and willingness to work, reasonable
expectations of present and tmmediate futura.
mature responsibtlity
wants to talk things over with, to share
his problems as well as his successes
and triumphs. And he is so concerned
for her welfare and happiness that he
wants to protect and provide for her, be
always kind and gentle and considerate
of her. He feels LOVE for her, not lust.
He wants to share with her his
struggles, his interests, his Jife. And
SHE
is the one he wants to have as the
mother of his children.
THAT is the LOVE that ought to be
marital !ove.
The same thing applies to women -
but from their vantage point. A woman
should want the man she really loves to
hold her in his arms. He certainly
should be attractive to her. But idle, im–
mature, romantic ideas that there is
sorne
perfecl
prince charming that is
going to make every moment of life one
great ride on a fluffy cloud does NOT
constitute true love.
Reallife simply
i.m't
that
·tuay!
Physical attraction
is
essential, and
without it there can be no genuine love
between man and woman. But to con–
dude that mutual sexual desire guaran–
tees love and assures a good marriage is
tO INVITE
DISASTER.
4 . Premarital
Pregnancy
ls
In
volved
For many young couples, the point of
no return has already passed: The girl is
premaritaJiy pregnant.
In our opening example, Susan
explained, "After talking it over with
my boyfriend, we decided
1
should be–
come pregnant. lt was the only way our
parents would allow us to get married."
Most teen-age couples, of course,
don't plan it that way. Yet in half of aJJ
teen-age marriages in the United States,
the bride is already pregnant as she
walks to the altar. For this group, the
chances of marital success are slim.
Sorne experts estímate that up to ninety
percent end in divorce.
Premarital pregnancy is a major
crisis. Besides the stress of the preg–
nancy itself, there is often the shocked
family and friends to face. In spite of
an increasingly liberal v1ew being
adopted by today's youth about what
goes on sexually behind closed doors,
outward public opinion still disfavors
premacital sex and pregnancy before
marriage. Public opinion is as it should
be. The results of premarital sex and
pregnancy are certainly not in the best
interests of young people.
According to marriage counselor Les–
ter Kirkeodall, "Practically all pre–
marital coitus in the pre-engagement
period, and an undetermined portion of
intercourse in the engagement period,
occurs under conditions which, both
then and eventually, result in more sus–
picion and distrust, and less ability to
set up a good relationship."
If
a steady couple has engaged in sex,