Basic HTML Version
book
Passages.
lt
certainly is a subject of great
discussion. Especially among those
who have entered or are about to
enter mid-life.
Defining the Problem
The first arder of business is to
define just what do we mean, mid–
life crisis? Sorne authors write with
an assumption everyone
is
supposed
to have one. When you round the
corner into the decade of your 40s or
on into your 50s you are just going to
have a crisis, they theorize.
.Other researchers, 1 found,
didn't believe there even is such a
thing as a mid-life crisis. "lt's all in
your head, the power of sugges–
tion," they write.
Still others brought forth "evi–
dence" that such a crisis is largely
biological. That even men have
chemical or hormonal changes just
as women who go through meno–
pause.
All of a sudden there are new
terms to understand.
Menopause is certainly a famil–
iar one. Most everyone realizes
there is a hormonal change,
designed by God, in which women
reach an age where it is no longer
possible to bear children.
This change in life occurs nor–
mally between the ages of 40 and
50. When it does happen there can
16
be a variety of symptoms. Depres–
sion, hot and cold flashes , weight
gain or loss, are sorne of the com–
mon problems often associated with
female menopause.
But other terminologies have
come along. Sorne writers describe
what men may go through as male
menopause. Better is the phrase
"metapause" to apply to this time
in a man's life. (The term is derived
from the Greek
meta,
which means
a change in form.)
Sorne writers call this period of
time "the male climacteric"-a
time when sexual responses slow
down. Another common pbrase for
these years is the "gray itch."
The bottom line is- whether
real or imagined- many men in
their late 30s to early 50s will enter
a period of doubt, discouragement ,
bewilderment and sometimes de–
pression. Sorne will be prompted to
precipitous act ions that may in–
elude quitting a job, unwise and
Whether real or
imagined, many
men in their late
30s to early 50s
will enter a period
of doubt,
discouragement,
bewilderment and
sometimes
depression.
extravagant monetary expendi–
tures, thinking about or even bav–
ing a sexual affair, and a host of
other less consequential actions.
Symptoms vs. the Problem
Sometimes with knowledge comes
the possibility for greater pain. lt 's
like an illness. When you can
attach a long, hard-to-pronounce
name to it, it sounds much more
severe. So "Type A Asían influen–
za" sounds more ominous tban sim–
ply saying, "I have the flu."
And then there is the power of
suggestion. The more a man reads
about mid-iife and what others are
going through, the more he feels he
is supposed to have the symptoms.
He starts to look for them.
Not only does a man see bis
graying hair and receding hairline,
that bis size 34 waist now requires
size 36 trousers, and that he was
passed over in the latest promotions
at the office, but he also feels he
has been slowing down in bis sexual
desires.
If
you hear other men have
coped with this by making a pass at
a younger girl or that old George is
sporting around town in a red two–
seater, it's easy to feel tbat must be
the way to do it.
What you need to be most care–
ful about is not making tragic mis–
takes that could destroy your fami–
ly, cut you off from your friends
and make you end up alone and
dejected in what should be the
most productive years of your life.
Some of the Causes
Of course sorne very real situations
do occur during these middle years.
Sorne of the fears and
re~lities
many face have indeed brought on
a "crisis" of mid-life. Let's take a
look at sorne of these changes.
One of the first events that may
trigger the knowledge you are not
as young as you used to be is when
the children grow up and leave
borne. We even have a name for
this very normal event in life-"the
empty-nest syndrome."
A typical couple are married by
their mid-20s, have two children
and by the time they are in their
late 40s they well may be alone in
their borne. The nest is empty.
But is it? Empty? We'Jl come
back to that thought in a moment.
Not long after the children leave
borne, many couples are faced with
the reality they have aging parents
who are going to need more care.
The parents may be now into their
70s. The social security check
doesn't cover their needs. Grandpa
has really been sick recently and
when he dies, Grandma will have to
move in.
Then there are those grandiose
The
PL.AIN TRUTH