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Don'tLet
LIFE
PassYouBy!
by
Ronald O. Kelly
Mid-life crisis-real or imagined? Many men are facing the middle years
with fear and apprehension. Here's help to understand the autumn of your life.
T
HERE
comes that mo–
ment of truth in every–
one's life.
You realize one day that your
life is stretching out behind
you- not in front of you. That
your major accomplishments are
in the past. Perhaps that you are
never going to be president of the
company. Or that you will not
make it among the wealthy.
Crisis.
Your life seems at a majar cross–
roads. One part of you responds–
keep plodding into t he future.
Remain calm and stable.
The other side of you yearns to
try something new, something dif–
ferent. Leave the comfort and secu–
rity of your job and start your own
company. Prove to the world you
are not ready to be put out to pas–
ture-that you have it all over
those young up-and-comers in the
corporate structure.
lf you are a man, maybe even
leave your wife and start all over
again with someone half your age.
Prove you still have sex appeal, life
and virility.
Buy a Porsche 944 to fulfill your
fantasized racy sports car image.
Start wearing blue jeans. Learn to
speak the latest teen jargon. Allow
your hair to sprout into a short
pony tail in the back.
Then one day you look in the
mirror and staring back at you is a
March 1984
slightly gray, slightly bald, slightly
overweight individual that you
barely recognize as the imagined
you.
Crisis.
The next thing you know you
hear about an old high school bud–
dy who just died of a heart attack
while shoveling snow off his drive–
way. He was only 43. Exactly your
age. And you realize you haven't
been exercising as you should.
Crisis.
What can you do to cope with
it?
How This Artlcle Carne to Be
A few months ago in our
Plain
Truth
planning meeting our execu–
tive editor brought in a number of
letters containing article ideas for
future issues.
He began, " 1 have a number of
letters from readers mentioning
mid-life crises. Many are asking for
help and advice. It's time we tackle
this subject."
"Good article idea," responded
the editor. "It's an important issue
in today's world. Who would like to
handle this?"
Eyes around the room darted
from one writer to another. Slowly
eyes began to focus on one senior
writer. One voice said, "Ron Kelly
is the right man for this assign–
ment."
"Yes," the editor observed. "Mr.
Kelly is the man for the job. His
style, his experience with counsel-
ling are what we are Iooking for."
After further discussion he turned
to the staff secretary and said, "Put
down Mr. Kelly for an article on
mid-life crisis- perhaps a title will
be 'Don't Let Life Pass You By!'
Now on to our next subject. ..."
"But, but ... ," 1 stammered,
mostly under my breath, "1 haven't
had a mid-life crisis. When 1 write
about husbands and wives 1 write
from the basis of my marital expe–
rience. When 1 write about child
rearing 1 write from knowledge
gained by rearing five children. But
mid-life crisis? How can 1 write
about that? l'm on ly 46
years...."
Next stop, the library.
The card file revealed a wide vari–
ety of books on the subject. The ver–
tical file was packed with magazine
articles from the past
lO
years.
"Hmm," 1 mused, "maybe there
is more to this than meets the eye."
Oh, we have all heard about Ít–
the mid-life crisis. Most of us (espe–
cially those in that age bracket) joke
about it. Even a whole new vocabu–
lary has come into vague. At parties,
at the office, in the car pool we talk
about having our "mid-life crisis."
Someone mentions psycbologists
are writing more about male meno–
pause. Another says he read one
author who said it really wasn't
menopause and carne up with a new
term-"metapause." Then some–
one asks how many have read
author Gail Sheehy's definitive
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