Basic HTML Version
ambitions of success and money
that you realize just are not going
to be achieved. You actually put
out a few resumés to see about
changing jobs, but find companies
are not looking for someone nearly
half a century old.
There is always the temptation
to compare your accomplishments
and successes against others in your
neighborhood or the fellows you
went to school with 25 years ago.
When you find out they became
doctors and lawyers and such, you
finally realize you are never going
to earn as much as they do.
Then there is that nagging prob–
lem every book and magazine arti–
cle on the subject of mid-life crisis
homes in on-the loss of sexual
desire and response. Almost by the
power of the suggestion, al! of a
sudden as the fellows at the office
taJk more and more about it, you
realize you are slowing down. And
you wonder if you could attract the
attention of a younger woman.
The most disconcerting thing
1
found while researching material
for this article was the absolute
obsession with sex that dominates
most art icles and books on the
alleged mid-life crisis.
And the advice varied from
"Don't worry-it's normal to slow
down ," to, "The best way to alle–
viate your doubts about your sexual
prowess is to have an affair."
So you have entered middle
age-or you are going to get there
in the next few years. What can
you do to make it through?
Combating the Problem
First of all, don't overreact to the
suggestion everyone has to have a
mid-life crisis. We all pass through
life. We survive teenage. Enter our
20s. Most marry and have children.
We enter professions. The years
roll quickly by.
One way to combat cns1s 1s to
know in advance what to expect.
It
shouldn 't come as a shock that your
own children will grow up, go to
college or plan a career and desire
to marry. They leave home-just as
you did.
Many couples I know have
planned properly for tbat time in
their lives and have made it a most
enjoyable time. You do your best to
rear the children, set them on the
March 1984
right course. But they have their
lives to live-and you have yours.
Then there reaJly is not an empty
nest. Instead there is a home where
a husband and wife can reftect on
the joys of years past- and look
forward to the joys of the coming
years they will spend together.
So the first step in coping with
these years is to be mentally as well
as physically prepared for them.
They are going to come. You might
as well enjoy them.
Each stage of life should be better
than the previous one.
For example, a happily married
couple should now be able to enjoy
extra time they will have for one
another after the children are gone.
And what if you do slow down a
little sexually? That's not the end
of the world. Life, marriage and
!ove are much more than frequency
of sexual relationships.
In actuaJity a considerable num–
ber of couples find the years after
Life is too short to
look back.
. ..
Why
not take a realistic
look at tomorrow.
Set sorne goals you
can reach–
short-term goals
and long-term
goals.
the wife passes through menopause
even more sexually satisfying than
the earüer years. Without concern
for pregnancy a wife may be much
more responsive. And even if fre–
quency may diminish somewhat in
the SOs, 60s or 70s, the quality of
emotion, feeling and love should
continue to grow.
And that brings me to a second
and perhaps the most important
point of all in not letting these mid–
life concerns get you down. That is,
maintain a value and moral system
based on God's law.
If you know and know that you
know you should not, cannot and
will not compromise God's law, you
wi.ll be able to cope with any crisis
that may arise. You won't cheat on
your wife. You won't wonder if you
can still attract the girls. You won
't
look twice at your neighbor's wife.
That part of the problem simply
boils down to one's value system
and character.
Today we are bombarded by the
permissive and godless philosophy
that there are no absolutes- that
morals and values are based on sit–
uations and that promiscuity is a
way of life.
But God says combat this prob–
lem: " ... rejoice with the wife of
your youth. As a loving deer and a
graceful doe, Jet her breasts satisfy
you at all times; and aJways be enrap-
tured with her !ove" (Prov. 5:18-19,
RAV). Be faithful to and grow older
with the wife of your youth.
Another step is to realize your abil–
ities, your strong points and your
weaknesses. Nearly everyone wants
to have money and the material
things money can buy. But not every–
one is going to rise to the leve! of
vice-president or president of a com–
pany. There will aJways be middle-
17