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but 1 hadn't thought ser iously
about marriage to her.
As we talked, the facu lty mem–
ber gave me sorne good advice. He
said, "Every t ime you talk about
the girl you most respect and enjoy
being with, the g irl you talk about
is N orva Lee. You are really in !ove
with her, but you just haven 't
admitted it to yourself."
He was right.
1
j ust needed that gentle shove in
the right direction. She was every–
thi ng
1
ever wanted in a gir l. But
I
had only thought of her as one of
my best friends.
We were mar ried a year later
and now have more than
23
won–
derful and happy years together. T
think we have not only found the
first two kinds of !ove,
eros
and
philia,
but are growing in
agape
!ove together more and more each
year.
That faculty member, by the
way, is now the editor of the
Plain
Truth
magazi ne, Herman L. Hoeh.
1
wonder if he ever knew ti ll now
how much his advice of nearly a
quarter a century ago was appre–
ciated ?
Love Leads to Marriage
Since
eros
or erot ic !ove is a natural
!ove, as also is
phi/ia
!ove, it's natu–
ral that when couples spend a Iot of
time together they begin to think
about building a permanent rela–
tionship.
But in the adolescent years it is
not possi ble to develop true and full
agape
!ove.
lt
is not the t ime to
settle into a permanent relat ion–
ship.
The widely practiced custom of
going steady only leads to di fficu l–
ties. Young people who spend too
much time with only one member
of the opposite sex create circum–
stances where passions can get out
of control. Sexual experiment ation
then begi ns
before
marriage. Seri–
ous mistakes are made that Iead to
deep regret later.
The teen years should be spent
developing a wide variety of friends
from both sexes. At a proper age
young people can begin to date–
but not just one person.
That way, a person can exper i–
ence being with a variety of mem–
bers of the opposite sex. You can
know much better the type of per-
January
1984
son with whom you could spend the
rest of your life.
Don't even consider marriage
unless it is built on a relationship of
growing !ove. Don't marry for con–
venience, desire, security, money or
any other single reason . Marry
because you have grown to !ove the
person with whom you want to
share the remainder of this physical
Ji fe .
And never live together outside
the sacred bonds of marriage.
From the beginning the Almigh–
ty God instituted the marriage cov–
enant as the most sacred of all cer–
emonies. lt is the start of a new life
together-the beginning of a new
family unit.
On the day God created Adam
and Eve, he said, "For this reason a
man will leave his father and moth–
er and be united to his wife, and
they will become one ftesh" (Gen.
2:24,
NIV). God presented Eve to
Adam in the first marriage ceremo–
ny.
Mar riage shou ld be the most
wonderful part of life. And the
wedding one of the most joyous
days to remember. As a minister,
when
1
begin a marriage ceremony
l
usually start by saying, " There is
no more joyous ceremony than this
we now enter! Marriage is a natural
un ion, but a divine institution
ordai ned by the Creator God."
A beautiful bride dressed in
white, a handsome groom in a tuxe–
do or sui t, and an event shared by
family and friends shou ld be a hap–
PY
occasion well worth remember–
ing.
How sad that too many mar–
riages are not based on true !ove
a nd don ' t last long. J oy turns
quickly to sadness. Happiness turns
to tragedy.
If
only everyone would put these
things in the proper order. First,
Jearn to love- really and truly !ove.
Then
before
beginning the sexual
experience, plan a wonderful wed–
ding.
Sex-Only After Marriage
God designed the human sexual
experience to begin only one time
in Iife- AFTER the marriage cere–
mony.
1 know that doesn't sound mod–
ero and up- to-date. But it is the
truth!
And the truth about why God
created sex is vitally important.
·Sex is part of the
eros
!ove God
designed. It is part of our nature,
our makeup. Sex, when practiced
in !ove and in the confines of mar–
riage, is holy and pure. The apostle
Pau l said, " Marriage should be
honored by all, and the marriage
bed [sex in marriage] kept pure, for
God wi ll judge the adulterer and all
the sexually immoral" (Heb.
13:4,
N IV) .
Only two generations ago sex
was a taboo subject. l t was often
wrongly regarded as dirty. l t was
seldom, if ever, d iscussed. Most
were ignorant of the true meaning
of the human sexual experience.
Sex life within marriage was often
tragically unful fi lling.
Then follow ing two world wars
the world burst into sexual experi–
mentation and promiscuity.
In the l950s Dr. Alfred Charles
Kinsey conducted his research on
human sexual ity. More and more
people became ed ucated about sex–
ual functions. Now there are Iiter–
ally hundreds of books and pam–
phlets on the subject.
At the same time · moral stan–
dards declined. Organized religion
exerted less influence. Liberality
became the pacesetter. The result
is a modern society gone rampant
with sexual experimentation.
Virginity is an almost obsoles–
cent word. Peer pressure and false
or unbridled emotions have led toa
great deal of premarital sex experi–
mentation.
The modern argument is, "T hose
who have experienced intimate sex–
ual relat ionships before marriage
will be better sex partners in mar–
riage."
How sadly wrong that argument
is.
T he Almighty God who created
us maJe and female designed sex to
be practiéed
ONLY
in the confines
of marriage. Any other practice of
sex is sin! Premari tal sex is called
fornication. Extramarital sex is
adultery. Both are capital offenses
against the holy law of God!
But sex within marriage- prac–
ticed in love- is clean, holy, pure.
The most obvious reason for sex
is the reproduction of mankind.
God has designed the marvelous
(Continued on page 43)
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