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What ever
happened to
FATHER?
Do your children know you and respect you? Are you the
major influence in your child's life? lf not, why not? This article
explains that parents must spend more time with the ir children
if they are to avoid
a
generation gap in the ir family .
"MY
PARENTS
fight ... they don't
understand me . . . my father
doesn't talk to me ... I really
hate both my parents . .. my father's
away a lot . . . I have no rapport with my
father."
These
are
the confessions of increas–
ing numbers of teen-agers. But why?
Why should one of the dosest, warmest
human relationships end up on the
rocks?
One of the biggest social problems
today is the parent-chi ld problem. A
communication gap has separated teen–
agers from their parents.
How does it come about? How does
this wall of misunderstanding develop?
When does
it
start? And what can one
do to correct it?
Teen-agers Speak Out
lnterviews with teen-agers, once the
loved, cuddled, played-with and talked–
to chiJdren, reveal sorne surprlsing
poiots.
"There are a lot of things that
J
don't know about my parents," says
Chris, a sixteen-year-old sophomore
from New Jersey. "My father goes out
on the road.
He never talks abo11t what
by
David
l.
Antion
he does,
but I have to wonder sorne–
times.
My
parents fight
. . .
they fight
all night"
(The Music of Their Lartgh–
ter,
by Thorpe and Blake, p.
1,
empha–
sis ours throughout) .
Sandy is sixteen, the second of three
girls. Here is how she views her par–
ents: "M
y
father works for a chemical
firm.
1 don't knou; what he does
or how
much he makes, but it must be a lot,
because we live well.
"My parents are concerned with what
other people think. lt's really not my
mother, it's mostly my father. She's
rea lly nice. He's all right but
he j11st
doem't mzderstand.
He says that he
wants to understa,nd and everything, but
I don't think he ever could, really. He's
just not like - he just won't under–
stand. I guess he's really concerned
about his job and he's in the Lions Club
business.
1
don'/ know what that is
-
be's sorne head of it or something. He
goes to that a couple of days a week
and
J
don't know ... I don't know how
to describe him real!y"
(ibid. ,
p. 3).
How pitiful ! Here is a young girl
who does not really know her own
father, and does not know how to
express herself well enough so he will
understand ! Obviously there is no fam–
ily contact. She does not even know
what his job is, or what his club respon–
sibility is.
This family lacks conversation and
cohesion. Sandy has contact with her
mother and feels that her mother is
"really nice." But she feels that her
father "doesn't understand," couldn't
understand, and "won't understand."
Sbe started the thought, "He's just not
like .. ." Then she interrupted her
words. We can only wonder to whom
she was comparing her father. Perhaps
she wished her father could understand
like one of her teachers does.
But in any case, we can plainly see
that Sandy has virtually given up hope
that there will ever be any understandi ng
with her father.
In just sixteeo years, starting from
birth, here is a girl who has just about
ended all fellowship with her father !
Ho111
can this be?
What 's He Really
Like?
If
you were to meet and talk with
Sandy's father you would probably like
him. He is no doubt esteemed highly
among his associates at work and in the