Basic HTML Version
are beautiful - but
SEX?
That's no t
beauliful. Don' t press it. He'U lhink
it's bea utiful soon enough. Then
you' ll ha ve a who le new set of prob–
lems.
Jn contrast lO lhe deductive rea–
soners, some kids don' l hesitale to
ask a bout the birds and the bees the
first time the question occurs to
th em. One inq uisitive seven yea r o ld
1 know pressed her mo lher unlil a ll
the ca rds were on the ta ble. In re–
spon se to th e wide-eyed , rather
a la rmed . expression on her child 's
face, the woma n, fee ting a little ri–
diculous, defended herself with "lt's
no t as crazy as it sounds."
"Do you have a baby evcry time
you do it?" lhe little girl inquired
further.
"No," her mother reptied.
"You mean if you don' t get one
you have to keep trying? !"
Though she was d isturbed by her
da ug hter 's a tlitud e, th e yo un g
woma n could th.ink of no answer
but "Yes."
The astounded child patted her
mo ther on the shoulder a nd whis–
pe red , "Boy! Were you lucky !"
As
r
said, sex just doesn ' t sound
appea ling the first t ime you hear
about it. It's one of those things tha t
ki nd of grows on you.
lntroduclng Sexto Young Chlldren
In the case of rea lly young child ren
(ages 3 to 5) who ask where they
carne from a nd how they got here,
il's usua lly bes t to remember not to
go overboard. A one-line answer is
often enough. To ts don't enjoy con–
cen tra ting fo r too long on something
tha t, lO them, is entirely abstract,
and they will simply tun e out your
effo rts a t bio logical explan ations
and nomencla ture. A brief answer is
not necessa rily a n evas ive one, a ny
more than the rcply, "Fine, tha nk
you," is incomplete as a response to
the greeting, ' 'How a re you do ing?"
Mo re importa nt than an elabo rate
answer is a clear understanding of
thc ques lion. Listen ca rc ful ly to
your child. and make sure you know
what's bei ng asked.
A woma n 1 know was a larmed
when her four-a nd-a-ha lf-yea r-o ld
son tramped in to the kitchen wi th a
big smile a nd a question on his lips.
"How d id you and daddy get me?"
Feeling unprepared , th e young
The
PLAIN TRUTH October 1976
mo ther froze. Then, wanting desper–
a tely to do lhe right lhing, she took
her little boy by the hand. sa t him
down a t lhe dining-room ta bl e and
began an A lo Z account of his bio–
logica l origins, pictures includ ed.
N o t being the world 's gr ea tes t
draftsma n a nd also being less than
an ex pert on the precise sha pe and
location of the interna! reproductive
o rgans she was t ryi ng to draw, the
we ll-meaning woma n became quite
absorbed in what she was doing a nd
d idn' t no tice tha t her son was no
longer sitting nex t to he r. When she
did rea lize he was gone, it took her
twenty minutes lO find him where
he had fallen as leep under the din–
ing-room table.
The n ext time the littl e boy asked
Making love and conceiving
and raising children is
not something one does
for fun at one's own
convenience.
his mother how she and his daddy
had made him, she replied , wi thout
looking up from the stew she was
stirring on the stove, "We just loved
each o ther so much tha t God gave
usa ba by to !ove sorne mo re." Com–
pletely sa tisfied, the linte boy went
outside and rode his tricyle a round
th e block n ine times until hi s
mo th er caUed him in for dinner.
As I've sa id befo re, kids are hon–
es t, and they apprecia te honesty in
o thers. But pa rl of the skill of com–
municating with young children is
rea lizing wha t a nd how much is
be ing asked , saying wha t needs lO
be sa id , and n o more.
1 have one mo re. rather sentimen–
ta l feeling concerning how to impa rt
info rma tion a bout sex to young chil–
dren .
l
know this is o ld fashioned ,
roma ntic, a nd very persona l, but 1
am sure that it is a thought sha red
by ma ny. lt bo thers me that a ny
ex pla na tion of how the ma le sperm
fertilizes the female egg is likely to
have a blank a nd clinica l ring to it.
There's no t much you can do a bout
it rea lly. The facts ar e the facts, a nd
as 1 sa id before, insisting lha t sex is
bea utiful won ' t help. But perha ps
there is sorne way fo r the magic and
wonder of sexual intimacy lo be–
come visible through the attitude
and demeanor of whoever's doi ng
the ta lking.
I a lways admired a remark made
by a Sunday school teacher whose
tenth-grade class scoffed at the con–
ce pt of the virgin birth. He replied
ca lmly lo his students lhat aside
from the fact tha t a virgin birth had
occurred only once in lhe history of
th e wo rld, to him the conception
and birth of everyone in the class–
room and the ent ire world was no
less astounding, mysterious, a nd
miraculous.
Sex, Love, and the Teen-ager
Ado lescence is a whole new ba ll
game. Those in-between years tend
to be awkward a nd pa inful not only
fo r the gangling youth h.imself bu t
a lso fo r everyo ne a ro und him .
Al a rming g la ndul a r changes trans–
fo rm his body, wh.ich he begins to
beho ld as something stran ge and
separa te and someth ing over which
he has little contro l. And wh at. the
teen-ager wonders, are t hese fee l–
in gs towa rd members of the oppo–
site sex? The facts leam ed a few
years ago on daddy 's knee begi n to
seem, if no t bea utiful, inevitabl e, in–
tense, and urgent.
Whether we like it or no t, it's a
fact tha t a n increas ing1y high pe r–
centage of today's school kids have
ha d considera ble sexual experience
by the time they graduate - experi–
ence which in many cases began as
ea rly as jun ior high. 1 have no sta tis–
tics to q uo te in rega rd lo whether
this ea rl y sexua l act ivity makes
people happier, unhappier, o r nei–
th er. To be fra nk, this is a subj ecl
a bout which I clairo little or no ob–
jectivity. My opinion is very simple.
I think sex is fo r people who are
ma rried to each o ther .
My birth was the result of an acci–
de nt or indiscret ion during a pre–
ma rita l affa ir ca rri ed on by my
paren ts, whom
l
never knew. When
it ca rne time fo r me to be born, my
mo ther a nd fa ther d rove to a sma ll
Canadian town ca lled Moose J aw.
There 1 was delivered , put up for
adoption, and ra ised by a fine man,
th e R evere nd M r. L inkl et ter.
Though 1 never met my true par-
(Continued on page 42)
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