Basic HTML Version
3
TAKE TIME TO TEACH
YOUR CHILDREN
The mino
of
a
chdd 1!> pliabk ano
impn.::s ionablc.
lt
is receptive
10
a l–
mos t any input rrom uny ·ourcc .
l t is
mo~t
importan! that you. as
parcnt&. providc your ch ildren with
a suita blc lcarning environrnent.
Give them cxpc ri cnces which teach,
because the unknown is usua lly be t
explain cd by the known. Exploit
your chi ld 's own framc or refe rence,
and bui ld on th c knowledge he al–
rcady possesses.
Often the most etfcctive parental
teaching is mformal. Capitalize on
situations that arise. Take advan–
tage or the quest l011. that emerge a
a natural result of your child's in–
nate curiosity.
Thi ~
type of spontaneous. infor–
mal. give-and-takc teaching session
is often much more effeet ive wit h
eh ildren than the formal, stilted
·'i ecture session." Ch ildren jusl nat–
urally tcnd to rcse nt being "lec–
turcd ." They will often close their
minds to parental input in such ses–
sions and daydream about more
plcasan t thing . (Th is does not
mean that therc 1s not an appro–
pnale time for a fo rmal lcsson of
instrucuon in which thc child is
obliged
to
pay a ttcntion. But this is
not the most cfl'ccti\ e. nor ·hould it
be the
mo~t
common. mc thod or in–
st ruct lon.)
In addition to capitalizi ng on you r
ch ile! ' natural curios it y and need
for explanations. it is also important
to cn<.:eu rage your child to
think
for
himsef(
Wakc up hi s mind. Stimu–
late his devcloping thought pro–
ccsscs.
"Thc actua l work of thc teachcr
cons1sts of thc awakeni ng and set–
ting In action or the mind of thc
pupi l. thc arous1t1g of his self-activi–
tlcS.... All cxplanation and exposi–
uon a re usclcss cxccpt as they serve
lO C.XCJlC
anO d1rect the pupJI in his
own thinking.
Ir
thc pupil him clf
does not think. th crc are no results
or thc tcaching; th c words of the
tcachcr [i.c.. thc parentj a re falli ng
upon dcaf ears.... Makc your pupi l
The
PLAIN TRUTH July 1976
a discovcrcr or lru lh
makc him
nnd out for himsclr' (John Milton
G
regory.
Sel'en Lall's o.f Teaching.
pp .
84. 85).
Knowlcdgc should not be "shov–
eled'' into a chlld's mind by pa rental
··prcssure tactics." The acquisition
of knowlcdge should be one or the
paramou nt expcr icnccs o f an y
child'~
lifc. lt should be an ongoing.
thrilling, cxhi la rating process.
Each parcnt should
~lrivc
to give
his chi ldren a scnsc or d iscovcry.
G uide. nud gc. a nd direc t th e ir
though t proccsscs in the righ t direc–
tion - but Jet them draw their own
con
el
usions.
4
DISCIPLINE YOUR
CHILDREN
Di sci pline is
a
mcans of curbing
und csirable be havior. l t 1s a form of
punishment -
never
re1•enge!
l t is
111erely a method of effectin g
a
"course correct ion" in a ch ild's de–
vc lopment.
' 'Most parents see the whole
problcm of discipline in child rear–
ing
as
a qucstion or being ci th er
strict or lenicnt. tough or soft. au–
thontanan or permissive. Because
they a re locked 11110 this either-or
approach to discipline. thcy ec
their rclationship with their children
as a power strugglc.
a
contest of
wilb.
a
figh t to see who wins - a
war" (Dr. Thomas Gordon.
Parent
EJ!ectil'eness Training,
p.
151 ).
Parents
~hould
not be at war with
thcir children. This wholc approach
is a simplc-mindcd approaeh lo a
complex and profound human rela–
tionshlp.
Pa renta l di sci pline is most often
associated wi th spanking (corpora l
pu nishmcnt). And the Bible
does
tcach the principie of ..spare th e rod
and spoil thc chi ld" (see Pro v.
13:24).
God hi msc lf corrccts and
chastcns evcry son he loves (Heb.
12:6).
We are told by Solomon that
the foo lishness of a child will be
driven from h1m by thc rod of cor–
rection (sllck or sw1 tch) (Prov.
22: 15).
But
~pa nking
should be a
fast
re–
sor!.
Ph y~1cal
pun í hment . hould
not be the
main
lcaturc ora chi ld–
rcaring program. Yct. many parents
ha,·e emphasizcd this form of dis–
cipline at the expen!>e of the firsl
thrce li:-.tcd essen tia l kcvs. To some
unfortunatc child ren. cÓrporal pun–
ish mcnt has becomc a way oflifc.
Assuredly. th cre are times whcn a
parent 's will must prevail over that
or his chlld . But there are more in–
tell igent ways
to
bring th is about
than s1m ply bca ting a ch ild into
subm iss1on.
Disc1pli ne can take
many
fonns.
Spa nkmg is merely onc of them.
One of thc most cfrcctive forms of
puní hment. especially for older
children. is the withholding of privi–
leges. Banning th e use of the televi–
sion for a ce n a in penod, for
cxample, or withdrawi ng permission
10
pi
a
y Wllh
a
!'ri end, lO go lO a
mo' ie. to
u ·e
thc fami ly autOmobi le,
lO go to a dance. etc.. can be effective..
Dr. Dobson. author of
Dare to
Discipline,
has this Lo say abou t the
disciplining o f tccn-age child ren:
··... Tecn-agcrs dcspcratcly wa nt to .
be thought or as adults. and they
deeply resent being trcatcd likc chi l–
dren. Spank111g is the ultimate in–
~ult.
Puni shment for adolescents
should 1nvol\'c
lo~t
pri' ileges, finan–
cia! dcprivation. and rc lated forms
ofnonph)sical retribut ion" (p.
61).
Often, makmg
a
child or any age
reail ze the consequcnces of hi s
wrong action or atutude is a very
effectJve form or pun ishmcnl in it–
self.
Children mu ·¡ be made to realizc
that wrong ac t ions hurt o th e r
people. Undcsirablc cond uct is such
becausc it huns cvcryonc involved
- including thosc who perpctrate it.
Poor child rca ring produces mal–
adjus ted. unfulfillcd. inferior chil–
dren. Proper chi ld rearing bcars the
good fruit of bright. responsive,
well-adjustcd. happy children.
lf you build you r chilu-rearing
tcchniqucs upon the princ1ples of
love and open aflect ion. righ t paren–
tal examplc. in telligcnt. balanced
teaching. and effective discipline.
you will . uccecd 1n rcanng success–
ful. happy. rcspons1ble childrcn.
o
27