Basic HTML Version
CHILD
REARING
BASICS
by
Brian Knowles
For so many unfonunate children,
life IS an endl ess series of "don' ts."
"nos." "ean'ts." "stop!" "don't do
that," .. be quiet.'' ·'maybe," '·si t
sti ll ." ·'no. you can't
.go
there." etc.
lt's all completely negative.
Me re ly seek in g to control a
ch!ld 's acti vi ti es. noise leve!, and aL–
titudes is a shon-sighted approach
to child rearing. Enlightened par–
ents opcrate on the basis of long–
range goals. They
~eek
to produce
an end product.
We a re a ll th e end result of our
parents' chi ld-reari ng methods (or
lack of them). our cnvironments.
etc. In fact. much of modern psy–
chology is based upon the principie
of tracing adult problems back to
their childhood origins.
The Bible tells us: ''Train up a
eh ild in the way he should go. and
when he is old he will not depart
from it'' (Prov.
22:6.
RSV). lt is an
accepted axiom that the first six
years of any child's life are the most
im pressionablc.
Those of us who are "grown up"
carry at least some scars from our
child hood yea rs. Habits were
started, a lt itudes wcre formed. and
pa tterns we re set.
The rearing of children is one of
the greatest
rc~ponsibilities
any
human being can ever have. Those
of us who are parents are presiding
26
over the formation or th e next gen–
aallon of mank ind. Tha t genera tion
will be an outgrowt h - a product -
or
this genera tion.
Will that generauon be of lcsser
quality? Will it be of in fer ior stat–
ure'? Or wi ll it be responsible for
crea t111g a bet ter agc
an age or
accomplishment and human cman–
cipa tion? Believe 11 or not. the way
you rear your children will have an
important bearing on the answer.
Much can be
~aid
about proper
child -reari ng techniques. This ar–
ticlc. howcver. will not auempt to
"covcr the waterfront" on the sub–
jccl. bu t wil l discus · four vi ta l keys
for succcssful child rcaring. (Further
complement ary informa tion on this
subject is cont aincd in our free
booklet
The Plain Tn11h Abotil Chi/d
Rearing. )
l
SHOW LOVE ANO AFFECTION
Ch ildren tluive in an at mosphere
of
love and affcction. They shnvel
up 1n an a tmosphcrc of anger and
ten ion. Loving pan:nts produce
lovmg children! A father who is an
ovcrbearing ty rant cannot expect af–
fectionate sons and daughtcrs. Paul
cautioned:
" Fat h er~.
do not provoke
y.our children. lest they become dis–
couragcd'. (Col. 3:2 1, RSV).
Sooner or late r a victimized chi ld
will turn bitter and resentfu l. Paul
told parents how to avoid this when
he warncd fathers
LO
bring their
ch ild ren up in the "discipl ine and
ins t ruction of the Lord" (Eph.
6:4.
RSV).
Pa rcnts need to rcal ize that there
is a
right
time to di sci pline their
ch !ld and a right time for righteous
pa renta l anger. But such occasions
should be th e exception rather than
thc rule! Parents shou ld never a llow
th emsc lves to go on a yelli ng. storm–
ing rampage. Such wild. uncon–
tro ll cd parental emotiona lism w!l l
only prod uce a ncga t ive resu lt. and
it certamly doesn't cause a child to
·grow in respcct for his parents.
So rcmember. a constant demon-
:;t rallon of parentallove for ch!ldrcn
is undoubtedly one of the greatest
keys lo succc · fui. product ivc child
rea nng.
2
SET THE RIGHT EXAMPLE
Right pare ntal example is ccr–
tainly a critica! factor in right child
rcaring. · We've
al!
heard the ex–
prcssion. "Monkey
scc.
monkey
do." l t's also true
of
chi ld ren. Chil–
dren are often ca rbon cop1es of their
pa rcn ts. Bad-tempered. Irritable
pa ren ts produce bad-tempcrcd, irri–
table chil dren. Sullcn. su lky parents
oft en produce children of
a
simi lar
dispos ition. Adulterous parents can
ex pcct to have promiscuous chil–
dren. Paren ts who fcc l the world
owes thcm a living gencra lly pro–
duce lazy. ungrateful ch!ld ren.
Parents who are rac1sts will pro–
duce child ren who use racist terms.
By thc time the1r ch!ldren are old
cnough to comprchend th e real im–
pact or these dcroga tory s lang
terms. th e die is cast and th ei r a tti–
tude are firmly
se t.
Ch il dren and tecn-agers who
smokc pot or take drugs will often–
as an exuse for thcir habit - point
to th cir parcnts' addiction to a lco–
hol. tobacco. or prescnpt ion drugs.
Not hing renders a pa rent 's efforts
1n ch!ld rea rin g more ineffective
th an sim ple
p~rcntal
hypocrisy.
Ch!ldrcn cannot be expected to
adopt standards
LO
wh1ch the ir pa r–
ents are unwilling to ad herc.
Spcaking to the Jew ish elcment in
thc co ngregation at Romc. the
apostk Paul wrotc: " ... lf you are
sure that you are a glllde to the
blind . a light
LO
those who are in
darkness. a corrector or thc fooli sh,
a
1eacher
of children
...
you then
who teach others. will you not teach
you rsclf? While you preach against
stealing, do you steal? You who say
Lhat one must not commit adultery,
do you commit adu ltery?" (Rom.
2:19-22.
RSV.) This admoni tion can
be applicd gene ra lly to parents of
chlld ren as well asto anyone.
The
PLAIN TRUTH July 1976