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scribed him
as
a cooperative child
who "wants to grow up and enjoy
the added success that comes with
mastery of his social ioteractions."
The gratifying results of com–
petent mothering were further illus–
trated by the description of an "A"
girl. The home was "firmly run by a
talented mother, who expects her
children to act with maturity." The
atmosphere was warm and Joving
but not particularly child-centered.
In this case, the father was absent.
"She is remarkably calm
and dignified for a two-year–
old chi ld, but has the capacity
for en thusiastic responsiveness
as well. ...
"She is best described as a
child who really desires to per–
form well and tries to model
her behavior on adult models,
despite the fact that she ap–
pears not to be unduly pam–
pered or catered to by her
mother."
She was very cooperative, yet
spirited in her relations with adults.
The mention of her mother's ex–
pectations may be a majar factor in
this child's maturity. Studies of ele–
mentary school pupils have shown
that children are astute at dis–
ceming what adults expect of them,
and often live up to those ex–
pectations - either good or bad -
simply because it is expected.
To these happy results, however,
the following description of a two–
year-old "C" child presents a sad
contrast:
"He is the youngest of six
children in a family that seems
generally overwhelmed by the
daily problems ofliving....
"He is rarely encouraged to
do anything and is often se–
verely threatened for some–
thing he has done. Most of his
mother's interactions with him
are disciplinary in nature, al–
tbough there is little con–
sistency or follow-through in
PlAIN TRUTH February 1973
her approach. Even friendly
exchanges are worded ag–
gressively (for example, ' Hey,
bad boy, get over here,' said
with a smile)....
"His approach to the testing
situat ion is marked by general
unresponsiveness and lack of
enthusiasm. He ... ignores all
directions addressed to him.
He has a remarkable ability to
'tune out' requests....
"He uses one-word requests
when he wants something....
"His mother has
a
lot to do,
has many children, and is not
a very contented woman. She
tended to be harsh with tbis
child when he was nearby and
she tried to keep him away
from her
as
much as possible."
The observer ended the descrip-
tion by reporting, "Watching this
child was a fairly depressing experi–
ence."
Mothers Must Outgrow
Selfishness
Obviously, the skills and attitudes
of parents studied by Dr. White do
not exist in isolation from the rest of
Life.
A woman who is seriously de–
pressed or very angry or unhappy
about life probably could not do a
good job of child rearing.
If
a
mother cannot find pleasure in
other areas of her life, she is far less
likely to find pleasure with her chil–
dren.
Likewise, an egoceotric, self-cen–
tered woman, overly coocerned with
her own needs and desires, cannot
be an effective parent.
The project's competent mothers
had the capacity and the wiUingness
to take their children's perspective,
to listen to them and therefore un–
derstand their concerns.
Encouragingly, Dr. White be–
lieves that most women are capable
of doing a fine job with their one- to
three-year-old children. He is con–
vinced that a mother does not neces-
sarily need a high school diploma,
Jet alone a college degree to be a
competent mother. Nor must she be
affluent. Even without a father
in
the home, sorne mothers in the
study wcre doing a superior job of
child rearing.
"We have families subsisting at a
welfare leve! of income," Dr. White
relates, "wi th as many as eight
closely spaced children, that are
doing every bit as good a job in
child rearing during the early years
as the most advantaged bornes." He
suggests that a "Russian-type 'Hero
of the People' award ought to go to
such remarkable women."
The next step for the Harvard
Pre-School researchers is obvious.
Having learned something about
what practices make for competent
parenting, they wiU start, on an ex–
perimental basis, to help average
parents become excellent parents.
For your children it is up to you.
Their early years are criticaUy im–
portant.
o
Further
Reading
Tire Plain Truth About Child Rear–
ing.
published by Ambassador Col–
lege, otfers valuable instruction on
guiding your child's persona l. emo–
tional , soc ial , and spiritual devel–
opment.
You can receive this booklet with–
out chargc by writing to the address
nearcst you
as
lis ted on the inside
front cover.
lf
you want to do more
readin~,
How to Ralse a Brighter Child
(Tn–
dent Press) by Joan Beck
is
one of the
best books on helping your child's
intellectual growth.
How to Parent
(hardback, Nash Publishing; paper–
back, New American Library) by Fitz–
hugh Dodson is an outstanding
manual on handling practica) day-to–
day problcms and gu iding your child's
socia l and emotional growth. Muriel
Beadle's
A Child's Mind
(Doubleday
&
Co.) provides a more detailed and
scientific look at the studies of a num–
ber of psychologistS. These
books
are
available through most local book–
s tores.
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