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"A soft answer turneth away
wrath; but grievous words stir up
anger" admonishes Proverbs
15:
l.
Next time, befare being so quick to
lash back or respond to a mate,
stop. Ask yourself, " ls what I'm
going to say helpful and construc–
tive to solving the problem, or am 1
really trying to get back and put
himj her down?
When a mate tries to be positive
and constructive about the si tua–
tion, it encourages the other mate
to do the same.
But whatever s teps you take,
don' t forget to strive to apply the
attitudes that help a nd heal in
marriage!
"We're a Team!"
A healthy, lov–
ing husband-wife
relationship is not
a master-slave re–
lationship. l t is
not a mother-son
or fat her-daugh–
ter relationship.
It
is a sharing,
complementing relationship where
each ma te recognizes the God–
ordained role of the other and con–
tributes talents and energies for the
good of the marriage.
It
is a union
in which eac h mate expresses
appreciation of the other's contri–
bution. Las ting marital happiness
requires
team
effort.
One of the newer tragic trends is
the growing concept or pressure to
go your own way-or , as sorne
express it, " do your own thing" or
"find yourselr'-even if it means
forsaking a mate, children or fami–
ly responsibi lities.
lt's when two mates real ize they
need, help and complement each
other that they draw clase and grow
to respect and love each other. The
C hinese have a say i ng that
describes it, "One hand washes the
other."
What a wonderful , healing atti–
tude to have in marriage! " My love,
we're a team- to share the joys of
life together, to conquer the diffi–
culties and challenges of life
together!"
December 1981
1 1 1
and
Gocl's Marital Laws
It
is ignorance to drop burning
matches into gasoline cans to see if
they will burn or explode.
Similarly, to break God's mari–
tal laws will burn you. Brea k
God's laws and they break you!
Millions are paying painful men–
tal , emotional and physicaJ penal–
ties for rejecting or ignoring
God's revealed laws on sex and
marriage.
God's law commands, "You
shall not commit adultery" (Ex.
20:1 4 ,
Matt.
5:27-28).
A penalty
is always exacted: a mate is less
Joved, or maybe a home is broken,
or there is shame, guilt, disease,
ill-begotten children-or the ulti–
mate spiritual penalty if s in is
unrepente.d of, d eat h (Rom.
6 :23).
"Can a man carry fire in his
bosom and bis clothes no t be
burned? ... So is he who goes in
to his neighbor's wife: none who
touches her will go unpunished"
(Prov.
6:27, 29,
RSV) .
True love is the way of giving,
sharing, helping, encouraging, be–
ing constructive, being encourag–
ing. It is the opposite of the way
of taking, of adultery, of selfish–
ness, of hurting others and being
unmercifu l. Those are Satan's
ways and attitudes. They produce
evil and suffering in human lives
and marriages.
So Jet us not forget. God com–
manded a man to properly
rule
over his wife (Gen. 3:
16) .
Women
these
days are increasingly ruling
over weak and ineffectual men ,
which is sin, contrary to God's law
(lsa.
3:12).
God will punish both
men a nd women fo r forsaking
their proper roles (verses
16- 18).
God's Word teaches that a hus–
band is the head of h is wife ( 1
Cor.
11:3) ,
that ma n was not
created for the woman, but the
woman for man (verses 7 and 9).
God commands men to
/ove
their
wives. And wives to respect their
husbands (Eph. 5:33).
Note how simply but beautiful–
ly the Bible expresses the truly
loving, healing attitudes that are
to be expressed between husbands
a nd wives:
" ... husbands, dwell with them
[wives] according to
knowledge
[of God's mind of a woman's
needs] giving
honour
unto the
wife ... as being
heirs together of
the grace of
[eterna!]
/ife:
that
your prayers be not hindered .
Finally ... having
compassion
one
of another ... ,
be courteous:
not
rendering evil for evil, or railing
for railing: but contrariwise bless–
ing ..." (1 Pet.
3:7
-9).
"Be subject to one another out
ó f reverence for Christ. Wives, be
subject to your husbands, as to t he
Lord. For the husband is the head
of the wife as Christ is the head of
the church. . . . As the church is
subject to Christ, so Jet wives also
be subject in everything to their
husbands . Husbands, love your
wives,
as Christ loved the church
and gave himself up for her.
.. "
(Eph.
5:21, 22, 25, 28,
RSV) .
Why is it so important for
mates to live this way? " H e who
laves bis wife loves himse lf"
(verse
28).
A man who misuses
hi s wife, or a wife that rai ls
agains t her husband, damage and
destroy themselves and their own
happiness!
By contrast, God's way to mar–
ita l peace is to "Jet each one of
you love his wife as himself, and
Jet the wife see that she respects
her husband" (Eph. 5:33, RSV).
lsn' t it time you admitted any
wrong attit udes toward yo ur
ma te? Isn' t it time you sought
God 's forgiveness and help to
express right attitudes and actions
in your marriage?
Obey God's living laws of mar–
ital happiness and healing. Ex–
press appreciation to your mate.
Give honor and respect. Be mer–
ciful and forgiving. Be helpful and
const ructive. Live as a team, with
each respecting the other's God–
g iven role. Obey God's instruc–
ti o ns o n marriage. You can
improve and jor save your mar–
riage!
Many troubled marriages need
the ass istance of a qualified spiri–
tual counselor. Don't neglect to
seek such help if necessary. o
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