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man enough to marry! 1f he is
already married, he had bettcr–
for his own sake, for his wife's
sake, for his children and grand–
children 's sake and for the sakc of
his eterna! life- study and pray
that he will be able to inculcate
the tcachings of Jesus Christ and
character of God sufficiently to
carry out- for the most part at
least- these five basic responsi–
bilities in marriage!
Love and Respect
Certainly aman ought not tomar–
ry a woman unless he really a nd
trul y !oves her. Yet, sorrowfull y,
wc must acknowledge that millions
of men have never learned the
meaning of the word
!ove.
Because
of c heap novels, cheap movies and
wrong examples, they have all too
often learned to confuse )ove with
lust. They seem to think that a
base, ani mal sexual desire to
get
satisfaction from another person of
the opposite sex constitutes love.
Nothing could be further from the
truth!
For true love involves a givi ng,
a sharing of plans, hopes and
dreams between two people who
want to build a n entire life
together until death does them
part. l f they are not able to talk
things over , smile into each
other 's eyes, sbare little joys and
intimacies and st ick toget her
when the big trials come-their
)ove is lost indeed .
The apost le Paul commanded:
"Husbands, )ove your wives, and
be not bitter against them" (Co–
lossians 3:
19).
Sorne busbands do
a llow t hemselves quickly to
become bitter because their wives
do not measure up to an angelic
idol of perfection envisioned in
their own human imaginations.
But a wife was never intended
to be an idol. She was never
designed to be flawless in this life
any more than her husband was.
She was not intended to be a
p er–
f ect
housekeeper, mother, com–
panion and also a Hollywood sex
goddess all wrapped up in one
individual.
She was designed and created,
however, by the Maker of us all, to
be a sweetheart, help and inspira–
tion toa man who would share him-
March 1981
self with her , go over his plans,
hopes and dreams with hcr, give her
encouragement and guidance and
lead-not drive- thcir home in an
attitude of confidence and love.
Quoting Genesis, Jesus Christ
said: " For this cause shall a man
leave father and mother, and shall
cleave lo his wife: and they twain
shall be one flesh" (Matthew
19:5).
In marriagc, a man needs
to realize that this cleaving is
more than a mere physical rela–
tionship.
lt
is an active and pro–
g ressive growing together, a fami–
ly relationship. A husband needs
to concentrate on appreciating
and encouraging his wife's happi–
ness, beauty and personality. He
needs to think of her and cherish
~~
Real !ove is deep
affection, admiration,
respect, a feeling of
closeness and an
outgoing concern for the
one loved.
,,
her-not ever letting his thoughts
dwell upon other women in the
same way, or a ll ow ing his
thoughts to dwell upon the nega–
tive aspects of his own wife any–
where near so much as upon her
positive virtues, love and beauty.
So many scores of women have
cried out in despair: " My hus–
band just won't talk to me! That
is wby we are not close- he just
doesn't sbare anything with me.
He just sits glumly at the table at
mealtime or reading a paper or
watching TV at night! "
L oving ls Sharing
Loving means sharing. Every bus–
band worthy of the name ought to
cultivate the habit of talking over
his plans and hopes with his wife,
shar ing with her many of his
innermost thoughts and desires–
not just the negative ones! He
should make her feel deeply a
part of him. This very attitude
and approach means more to a
woman than most men can even
realize.
A man needs to treat his wife
as a sweetheart. He needs to cul–
tivate and build an atmosphere of
!ove, romance and intimacy in
their home- ki ssing his wife
when he returns from work, hold–
ing her hand as they are taking
walks and embracing her often
throughout the day with free and
lavish affection.
True love certain ly involves
deep and abidi ng respect. A roan
ought to be grateful and thankful
that the woman who is his wife
has deci ded to leave her own
estate and cleave to him above all
others till dcath. He ought to
appreciate th a t fac t- and the
many, many good qualities of
help, patience and serv ice that
practically every wife possesses.
He ought to encourage and bring
out the best in her-not constant–
ly harp and carp away at her in
belittling c riticism, which only
causes her, in most cases, to
respond in kind.
A man ought to respect the
fact that his wife is an adult
human bei ng made in the image
of God . He needs to realize that
sorne day- according to God 's
plan- she can become a glorified
spirit being ruling with Christ
over this earth, even managing
angels! ( 1 Corinthians
6:3).
Support and Encouragement
A man, secondly, was intended by
God not only to be the head of
the house but to be the provider
as well.
God says: " But if any provide not
for his own, and especially for those
of his own house, he hath denied the
faith, and is worse than an infidel"
(1Timothy
5:8).
Man is his happiest when he is
building, increasing and provid–
ing. He will never have real peace
of mind or abiding happiness
unless he learns to fulfill this part
in life. Hi s brain , body and
desires all cry out for fulfillment
in an occupation to support him–
self and his family.
But a really dedicated man wi ll
cer tainly go far beyond jus t basic
support for his wife and children .
He will want to provide a proper
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