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and are ready to consider the respon–
sibilities of marriage. Your youth
should be a time to have a relaxing
good time with a group of friends
without the oftentimes embarrass–
ing discomfort and awkwardness
that a single-dating relationship can
bring. Save such relationships for
when you' re more emotionally ma–
ture and socially experienced.
And, right along with that, don' t
go steady. Dating only one person
multiplies the pressure to have sex.
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mean, after hundreds of hours
alone wi th one another, you can find
it difficult to maintain your moral
standards. You have the freedom,
whi le you' re a teenager, to get to
know and learn about the personali–
ties and likes and dislikes of a
lot of people. So why cheat
yourself. You '11 only be a
teenager once.
Get involved in positive
activities that you can en–
joy with a lot of young
people. Spend time devel–
oping your skills in a
sport or act ivity that
will round out your per–
sonality. Make sorne
money; learn how to
enjoy your work.
You may even be
alone while you're
developing certain
of your talents, but believe me,
once you've done it, the sense of
self-respect you feel and the recóg–
nition of your abilities by others is
well worth the price. Be the best at
whatever interests you most.
Avoid Frustration
Did you know the lovemaking that
precedes actual sexual intercourse
is a part of that sexual act? This
touching, prolonged kissing and
fond ling is a vital, integral part of
sexual intercourse in ma rriage.
God did not intend for people to
indulge in these acts before mar–
riage- another good reason not to
date alone or go steady.
Such lovemaking was designed
to heighten the sensations of the
physical union of two bodies. To
try to experience as much as you
can and go as far as you can with–
out going all the way, kidding
yourself that you are not doing
anything wrong, is stupid-and
pretty frustrating too.
Sorne older teens, after deciding
they' re ready for marriage, justify
their sexual activities by convine-
ing each other they are just check–
ing out their sexual compatibility
before they marry. Oh, really?
Sexual compatibility is devel–
oped over a period of time. Not
taking this into consideration can
make you believe you're not com–
patible. Many a close relationship
has been ruined by introducing sex
into it prematurely. You can lose a
person you love deeply that way.
Reme mber, whether
mate or female, to respect
that sexual drive in your
bodies and realize you can' t
play around with it and not
get hurt in a very intimate,
devastatingly painful way.
Avoid pornographic litera-
ture and movies. Pornography
distorts your perception of sex,
and an obsession with it can
pervert your mind into weird no–
tions of what sexual enjoyment is
a ll about. Pornography and the
abuses that often go along with it
dull sexual senses and steal plea-
sures awaiting you in marriage.
Also avoid destroying good judg–
ment with alcohol and drugs. Don't
ruin your entire life for one
evening of chemical euphoria.
Those of you who have already
made sorne mistakes, chalk them
up to learning the hard way. But
learn the lesson, don't keep repeat–
ing the same mistakes. You can
straighten out your life.
Talk to Parents
Try to talk to your parents about
your feeli ngs. Ask for their sup–
port. They may not understand
that when they allow you to be
alone and unchaperoned with a
friend of the opposite sex, they are
placing you in a
compromising situa–
tion that you may be
unable to control. Par-
ents tend to think of
you as their little boys
and girls sti ll and avoid
facing up to the fact that
you now have strong sex–
ual drives.
Ask t h e m to help
provide opportunities for
the balanced social and
recreational oppor tunit ies
you and your friends need.
Parents may be tired and
filled with problems of their
own, but it would be difficult for
them not to respond when you
point out the need. Of course, don't
expect your home to become a total
entertainment center at all hours,
day or night.
Choose Friends Wisely
Now comes another hard part–
getting yourself out of the entan–
glements you are already involved
in. Be honest. Go to the person you
may be steadily dating and tell him
or her how you feel. Tell your
friend you're not turning againsi
him or her as a friend, but make it
clear that what you want is a
friend, not a lover.
Evaluate your friends and their
moral standards-even if you're in
the " in" crowd. In the long run it's
not who's in the "in" crowd that
matters. lt's your success and hap–
piness in the future that matters. It
might be interesting to ask your
parents whatever happened to the
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