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CBII.D
REARING
(Continued from page 15)
they will have acquired more
knowledge and awareness of their
surroundings than they will in any
other comparable year of their
lives. Before infants can reach out,
sorne researchers find that they
have stored up, through sight,
information about an object, and
are not totally surprised at its shape
when able to handle it.
A baby quickly learns to recog–
nize mother and definitely prefers
her face and voice. (And more
researchers are emphasizing the
added importance of father's play
with the chi ld in the beginning
years of life, as well as later.)
By the time the baby is 5 or 6
months old, the degree of mental
and physical abilities acquired will
depend upon t he response and
interest of parents, especially the
mother. Parental response increases
aler tness even in the tiniest of
infants.
A baby left alone for long peri–
ods of time becomes not only Jone–
ly, but also frustrated. He or she is
not able to exercise, and thus devel–
op, all the new skills being learned.
Later the frequency with which the
infant expresses himself or herself
in making sounds
will
decrease if
not stimulated, and the child's lan–
guage development will slow.
lnfants and young children do
not thrive physically, mentally or
emotionally in an environment
where they are denied consistent
loving attention- the case in aver–
age day-care institutions.
Sobering studies reveal that a
child 's ability to form a lasting
attachme n t to another human
being- the capacity to love- is
learned before age 3. This ability to
form a lasting mutual attachment
seems to be inexorably tied in with
the development of the child's con–
science. In other words, no human
attachment equals no properly
developing conscience.
Yet how many toddlers today
have been confused at one time or
another, calling sorne part-time
caretaker "Mommy"?
What does the absence of a full–
time mother do to impressionable
young minds? From studies over
28
the last 20 or 30 years, infant psy–
chologist Selma Fraiberg states:
" ... we have learned that the
human qualities of enduring love
and commitment to !ove are forged
during the first two years of life. On
this point there is a consensus
among scientists from a wide range
of disciplines"
(Every Child's
Birthright: In Defense oj Mother–
ing).
Day-care advocates have not
been fu lly aware of the limitations
of a caretaker environment. Most
of their studies were made in day
centers of above-average quality.
Few of these facilities are available
and would be out of the price range
of most families anyway.
It's a controversia! subject and
books and articles expressing
opposing views are numerous, but
it's hard to deny living, breathing
evidence. The effect on the future
cbaracter development of these
children is not even addressed in
the studies.
The God-ordained Family
Broken bornes are a tragedy. Chil–
dren need two loving, concerned
parents (especially their mothers,
at an early age) to develop into
mature adults capable of loving and
caring for other human beings.
Adults who can enrich the lives of
others with their own unique crea–
tivity, who, guided by loving par–
ents, have exercised their God-giv–
en right of independent thought
and action. The developing of such
character in young c hildren is the
responsibility of parents.
Our transient mobile society
has robbed our children of the
stable extended-family ties en–
joyed by our grandparents. Most
young people have little sense of
the past and less regard for the
wisdom of their elders.
lt
should
come as no surprise that youths
have been wandering around for
the last two decades wondering
who they are.
The society we live in has made
child rearing doubly difficult.
Without tbe support of the
extended family, parents' responsi–
bilities today have never been more
importan
t.
Cbildren need both parents more
than ever. To avoid future deep–
seated emotional problems, there is
no substitute for mothers during
tbose early years.
For those with older children,
depending on the family circum–
stances and cbildren's ages, sorne
form of day care may be an alterna–
tive, but for those with young pre–
school children, mothers are indis–
pensable- al borne!
Darlng to Questlon
For many there's no alternative, of
course-single parents trying to
single-handedly hold their frac–
tured fami lies together physically
and economically, as well as emo–
tionally. They're caught, we're al!
caught, in a system we didn't
create, but to which the majority
are paying more than Jip service.
But what about the rest? Sorne
women are reanalyzing their priori–
ties. Husbands and wives are going
over their budgets, taking tbe time
to count the cost of turning their
children over to others to rear. Is it
really worth it? Cost of day care is
rising-some women are paying
almost 50 percent of their pay–
cbecks for child care.
Other women have stopped long
enough to take a good look at their
goals in life and how they plan to
accomplish them. They've plotted a
time to have children and to enjoy
rearing them. They believe chi ld
rearing is a career. These goal–
oriented women approach training
and rearing their children in the
same way they have successfully
accomplished responsibilities in
other areas of their lives.
More companies are offering
job-sharing opportunities and flexi–
ble working hours to their
employees. Sorne will allow work–
ing hours to be scheduled around
family responsibilities. In this com–
puter age, various corporations are
encouraging employees to work
from their bornes.
Cottage industries are another
alternative. Sorne people, even those
who aren't parents, prefer to pursue
their careers from their homes.
Don't think you have no choice
when with a bit of ingenuity you may
be able to come up with a workable
solution. Avoid day care for your
infants and preschoolers if at all pos–
sible. Give your children the price–
Iess gift only you can give-yourself,
at home. They're worth it.
o
The
PLAIN TRUTH