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Part
Three:
THE PLAIN TRUTHABOUT CHILD
REARING
Five Basic Rules
of Parenting
P
REVIOUS
installments in
this series revealed what
psychologists don't know
about child rearing, what you
can do to build strong
f
amily
ties in the '80s, and how to
grow healthy babies.
This installment takes you
through the five basics every
parent should know.
Do you know what they are?
Sorne parents practice none of
these basic rules - they in fact
aren't rearing their children.
Others practice only two or three!
Love Your Chlldren
No one needs and requires
!ove more than do children.
Parents can demonstrate
that !ove and concern daily, wheth–
er for a newborn or a youth just
turned 15.
Parents soon learn that physical
requirements vary with a child' s
age, but they often forget that love
is required continually. Affection,
attention, outgoing concern are key
ingredients in all relationships.
Children most assuredly shrivel up
and die inside- and sometimes lit–
erally, too--without these ingre–
dients of !ove.
Most parents believe they !ove
their children a great deal. Sorne,
however, knowingly or unknow–
ingly compete with their chil–
dren; others live their lives vicar–
iously through t hem. Others will
not let go of their children and
January
1985
allow them to develop and
mature.
The needs of children are ever
changing.
Love makes the growth
transitions possible.
Loving parents produce loving
children! A father who is overbear–
ing cannot expect affectionate sons
and daughters. The apostle Paul
cautioned: "Fathers, do not pro–
voke your children, lest they
become discouraged" (Col. 3:21 ,
Revised Standard Version).
When a mother yells at her son,
" You dummy! Why did
you do that?", she is not
only discouraging her son, ..-:;
she is encouraging a broth-
er or sister to think of the
child in a disrespectful
manner.
Little babies and small
children require affection,
kisses, hugs and tender–
ness in arder to grow and
develop at a normal rate.
The effect of !ove on
children- and adults,
too- is as important as
clothing and good food ,
sunshine and fresh air all
put together.
Babies and children
must
have constant affec–
tion and encouragement
to develop the right kind
of confidence and sense of
worth and the capacity to feel and
express affection themselves. Even
though this may seem obvious to
sorne, it is, sadly, one of the most
neglected areas of child rearing.
You parents must learn to hold,
kiss, cuddle and
encourage
not only
your babies but your younger chil–
dren as well. The habit of touching,
hugging and physically expressing
affection to children is something
one should never outgrow! Yet how
many parents have been emotional–
ly crippled in this respect?
Men, especially in the United
States, too often have been taught
to be the strong, silent types. By
example and
inference,
males were
taught that it is not proper for he–
men to kiss and cuddle their young
children- especially their boys.
Perhaps we do not realize that for
centuries it has been customary for
countless millions of fathers in the
Middle East and in the Latín world
to kiss and embrace even their
grown sons on occasion!
You who are fathers and moth-
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