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niques needed to "mother" or to be
a considerate father.
Parents who abuse children often
have a poor self-image and try to
rise above problems and irritations
with brutal force and power. Since
their own feeli ngs as a chi ld were
discounted, they have a strong ten–
dency to discount the importance
of others' problems or feelings.
Their feeli ngs and problems of the
moment are paramount.
Many battering parents confess
they
never
obtained from their par–
ents the feeling that they were spe–
cial, or cherished or worthwhile
individuals. Their parents were
usually inconsiderate of their feel–
ings. And punishment for infrac–
tions of rules seemed to be distinct–
ly excessive.
•
The Quality of Parental Re/a–
tions.
The mutual support (or lack of
it) between mates has great
inftuence on the t reatment of the
children. The relations between
abusing parents are marked by fre–
quent st ri fe and arguments, com–
monly about chi ld rearing and mon–
ey matters. There often are recrimi–
nations between spouses for failu re
to live up to responsibilities.
Many abusing, feuding parents
married young, before they had a
chance to prepare for the responsi–
bilities of marriage and chi ldren.
One parent often feels he or she
takes all the load while the other
does nothing. These freque11t irrita–
tions, s tresses and dissatisfactions
spill over into resentment of chil–
dren.
The childhood background of the
person one marries or lives with has
strong influence on a family's
child-abuse potential. If an adult
with a low leve! of abuse in the
background marries someone with
good family rearing, the chances of
physical child abuse are quite low.
1f on the other hand, one parent
with high child abuse in the back–
ground marries someone who is a
passive individual, then the risk of
chi ld abuse is significantly higher.
And if two individuals marry who
both have a history of child abuse
in their background, then the child
abuse potential is very high.
•
How the Parent Sees the
Child.
lt
is impor tant to know how
a parent, or even a culture, views
children. Are children loved and
March 1984