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toward his spouse?
Cancel another
marriage!
Such men don't even realize
what they are doing. These hus–
bands are not aware that they
have been taking their wives for
granted for a long time-that
familiarity has already bred con–
tempt.
Bad marital habits can easily
become ingrained. But human
beings are capable of cultivating
good habits as well as bad. Hus–
bands
can /earn
always to address
their mates with obvious warmth
and affection. They do it with
workmates all the time.
If
they
don' t learn how to converse with
their spouses in a more civil man–
ner, they are courting disaster. It's
as simple as that.
If
you don't talk to your mate
with interest and concern, your
marriage is either in serious trouble
or soon will be. Lack of loving,
thoughtful communication is one of
those telltale signs of a failing mar–
riage.
The Woman's Responsibility
Up to now we have focused this
article on the husband's responsi–
bility in marriage. But generally
speaking, today's woman has a full
and equal share of the blame when
things go wrong in a marriage.
Movies like "The World is Full of
Married Men" may have given
sorne a false impression. Don't you
believe it. Those who are made of
"sugar and spice and everything
nice" have made many a marriage
go wrong.
Historian W.E.H. Lecky once
observed that "Marriage gives
either party an extraordinary power
of injuring each other." Women
have no idea how much pain they
can inflict upon a man. A snide
remark that cuts through a man's
natural masculine pride can injure
him down to the core of his
being.
Many a man delights in the role
of protecting and supporting his
woman. Because of the way socie–
ties in this world are structured, a
man's income might not immedi–
ately cover all of the luxuries his
mate may want. He may realize the
problem and be working on a way
to increase the family income. A
wife -who impatiently nags and
12
complains about lack of income is
injuring her mate more than she
realizes.
The wife's problem in today's
world may emanate from a number
of erroneous role models.
Wonder
Woman, The Bionic Woman
and
the girls in
Charlie's Ange/s
hardly
convey the correct image of the
ideal woman.
James Dobson described the
new woman in his book,
What
Wives Wish Their Husbands
Knew About Women.
"She roars
around the countryside in a racy
sports car, while her male com–
panion sits on the other side of the
front seat anxiously biting his
nails. She exudes self-confidence
from the very tips of her fingers
and for good reason; she could
dismantle any man alive with her
karate chops and flying kicks to
the teeth ... In short she is vir–
tually omniscient, except for a
curious inability to do anything
traditionally female such as cook,
sew or raise children."
Wives unconsciously imbibe
these modern images and the tradi–
tional sex roles are thereby con–
fused. Let's face facts. Homemak–
ing is no longer a coveted role in
the Western world. More men than
we like to think open their front
doors to view a colossal mess in the
lounge or living room. The wife was
too busy with career ambition and
self-fulfillment projects to keep the
house tidy. Sorne men have to pick
up after their wives. What a
shame!
Golden Rule in Marriage
"Do unto others as you would have
them do unto you." Surely no one
in his right mind disagrees with the
ancient sentiment. But who are the
"others"?
Probably your mate is
the last person you think of in this
connection.
Things go wrong at the office.
You have cost the company a small
sum by missing an obvious error in
a major printing of company bro–
chures. Your workmate who nor–
mally cross-checks your work was
called out of town on an emergen–
cy. To say that your boss is unhap–
PY
is the proverbial understate–
ment. How do you expect to be
treated when you arrive borne?
With consideration, empathy, even
sympathy? Of course! Maybe your
wife won't mention that the lawn is
long overdue for a mowing. That is
the way men expect to be treated
by their wives.
But is that the way they treat
their wives when things go wrong
at borne? That day the bread didn' t
rise. The bathroom was flooded.
She dropped a piece of the best
china and the kids have been
impossible. And your lovely wife
coped with all these "minor" disas–
ters without calling you once.
When you arrive at the front door,
she's at the end of her tether. How
do you treat her in these circum–
stances?
Do you step in and get the chil–
dren to bed yourself? Do you offer
to dry the dishes that particular
evening? Do you console your
spouse? Do you treat her the way
you expect to be treated? Do you
love your neighbor- your wife-as
yourself?
And do you women respect your
husbands as much as you do your
own selves?
Seventy Times Seven
Peter asked Jesus Christ how
many times he had to forgive his
brother and then threw out the
number seven. "Seventy times
seven" carne the unhesitating
answer. In other words, unlimited
forgiveness .
There's only one relationship
where the 70 times seven is likely
to occur, Jiterally. A brother or
neighbor or friend just won't sin
against us all that many times. But
a spouse is likely to. We spend a
tremendous amount of time with
our mates.
The average wife is likely to
hear "I'm awfully sorry, dear" at
least several times a week and vice
versa. The question is: Do you
mean it and does she mean it?
If
so, you should forgive your mate
without a moment 's hesitation.
Unspoken grudges can ruin a mar–
riage. Learn how to forgive your
mate!
A marriage is likely to collect a
lot of skeletons. Don't dig one out
every time you have an argument
with your spouse. That
isn't
real
forgiveness. The Proverb says:
"An ungodly man [or woman]
(Continued on page 44)
The
PLAIN TRUTH