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18
So let's start by being honest about
the problem and realize that one of the
most effective ways to help our young–
sters is to begin by cleaning ourselves
up as adults!
W hat Parents Can D o
Let's begin way back at the begin–
ning. Clear back, as the song says, at
the "white lace and promises."
Eacb of us as parents needs to re–
assess our own marriage relationship.
Let's be completely honest with our–
selves. Do you really understand the
meaning of marriage? Is there a deep,
abiding sense of !ove, respect, and out–
going concern flowing between you?
Are you able to really communicate
your own intimate feelings, doubts, ex–
pectations, and needs with one another?
Is your own attitude toward sex based
upon mature, accurate, and wholesome
knowledge ? Do each of you deeply
understand and accept the tremendous
responsibility you have undertaken as
parents?
Unless you can truthfully answer an
unequivocal "yes" to al! of these ques–
tions, you need to do some homework.
Indeed, most of us need a refresher
course and a good way to start is by
requesting the
ft·ee
Ambassador College
publications entitled
The P/(/Í/1 Tmth
Abo11t Chi/d Rearing, Modern Dating,
and
T he '"iuing Dimemion in Sex.
You will find these booklets uncompli–
cated, straightforward, and like nothing
you have ever read before. They contain
information and answers unavailable
anywhere else.
After you have studied these thor–
oughly
together,
you will be ready to
apply the following practica! sex educa–
tion principies:
l.
Early childhood i.r the time when
h11mans are the most ed11cable and t11hen
paren/S har•e almos/ complete cofltrol of
the enviromnent . l t is the time 111hen a
child receives an indelible impres.rion of
UJhat sex is all aborlt.
The way a father
lives, the way he treats his wife and
children, the way he conducts himself
with others, these relationships form the
child's impressions of "masculinity."
Likewise, the mother's life style
be–
comes the model of " femininity." And
remember, at no other stage of Jife are
these carly impressions likely to be sig-
The
PLAIN TRUTH
nificantly altered. By age five, the
pattern of social behavior for eacb child
is pretty much established. Your adult
model is crucial.
2.
There is no choice bettveen
providing or
1101
providing sex educa–
tion, only the altemative of HOW and
IPHAT yom· child UJill leam.
You need
to recognize that the vast majority of
sex information a child receives does
not occur in formal, planned, or even
verbal ways. Rather, it is absorbed con–
stantly throughout childhood and later
li fe in every contact with other persons
and the environment at large.
Sex
edu–
cation goes on in every school bus, at
every recess period, in the locker room,
at every slumber party, in front of the
television set, at the movies, and
through the pages of every newspaper
and magazine. Without being oppres–
sive about it, you need to be intimately
aware of the sex implicatioos of your
child's activities. Only in this way will
you be able to guide, interpret, clarify
and even censor the sex information he
receives.
As Dr. Loren
L.
Hoch of the Science
Education Center at the Univers ity of
Akron pointed out, "... \ve have
allowed most of the protective barriers
which shielded us in our youth to dis–
appear. We have dispensed with chap–
erones, supervision, rules , close family
relatioos, and privacy from the intru–
sion of the communications media"
(The Science Teacher,
November 1970,
p. 42) . He's right, and we need to re–
establish those "protecti ve barriers" for
our children's sake.
3.
Keep parent-child rommrmicatio11
rhannels ope11.
Remember, open com–
munication means a genuine give and
take, not an adult lecturer and a child
Jistene(. Children have c¡uestions and
ideas worth hearing, and we need to be
willing, interested listeners. There is no
better way of catching and correcting er–
roneous ideas. Besides, such a dialogue
helps remove the secrecy and taboo
from sex. lf you will establish good
communication with your child early,
you will be able to avoid estrangement
later on.
It
gives a child a loving, secure
place to come with questions and
problems, knowing he won't be turned
off with excuses or evasions.
The belief that parent-child commu-
September 1971
nication is unavoidably lost on the day a
child becomes a teen-ager is a myth.
However, sorne parents fail to commu–
nicate with their children when they are
young ; and when teen-age finally does
arrive, many parents find they do not
know their children well enough to
have anything to say.
4.
Avoid sex education by "crisis."
Auticipate prob/ems.
As parents, you
are both mature adults. You have al–
ready lived through all of the stages of
development your chjld is going
through or has ahead of him. With a
little awareness and observation, you
can prepare your child to anticípate and
accept his sexual development with re–
assurance and confidence rather than
puzzlement, confusioo, or fear. Adoles–
cent bodily changes, the appearance of
secondary sex characteristics, menarche
in girls, and the intensifying of sex
drives should be anticipated and dis–
cussed as the matter-of-fact part of life
they really are -
before
each new situa–
tion becomes a crisis.
5.
Provide wholesome o11tlets for
physicat exercise.
Especially at the ooset
of puberty and during the years of ado–
lescence is regular physical exercise es–
sentía!. It is necessary for the proper
development of muscle, bone, tissue,
heart and lungs. But it is also of equal
importance in dissipating the tensions
produced by changes in body chemistry
brought on by sexual developmeot. A
vigorous swim, a competitive game of
basketball, softball or tennis, or a few
fast laps around the block on a bike can
do much to reduce the pressure of the
adolescent's growing sex drives. Spin–
off from such activity wi ll also be a
clearer definition of a youngster's mas–
culinity or femininity as well as greater
self-confidence.
6.
Protect yo11r chi/d from homosex–
flai Jendencin.
Most parents associate
the cause of homosexual tendencies with
wrong companions. To a degree that
may
be
correct. But, more and more
psychiatrists are finding that the truly
controlling factor is the family constella–
tion in which the child is reared. The
recipc for developing homosexuality in
a boy is an overintimate, overprotective,
emotionally smothering mother and a
detached, hostile or indifferent father.
Likewise, a closc-bindiog, overly posses-