Basic HTML Version
in life to live for because he wants sex
all the time, and I don't. I get mad at
him, because he isn't a bit considerate,
and he gets mad at me and says l'm
frigíd, and he's hit me a few times.
He wouldn't gíve me any money when
he had a job, and he doesn't have any
now. H e leaves me alone evenings, and
he runs with his boy friends; and he's
even dated sorne old girl friends. I
don't want to tell my folks what a mis–
take I made. W hat shall I do?
Nothing's like
1
thougbt it would be !"
What are the chances of teen-age
marriages being happy and succeeding?
Fifty-Fifty?
No,
Less Than That !
They are LESS than fifty-fifty! The
actual records prove it ! More about that
a little later.
Is there a BEST AGE for marriage?
THERE !S! More about that later, also.
But first, WHY are so many marriages
failing today? WHY the alarming
increase in UNHAPPY marriages, broken
bornes, divorces?
No one reason - there are SEVERAL
causes. One of the greatest is marrying
TOO YOUNG! The actual RECORDS–
the actual FACTS - show that slightly
fewer than half of such marriages last.
Primary Causes
Whatever happens, there was always
a cause. There has been a cause for
every effect. In the matter of unhappy
and broken marriages there are many
causes, but certain ones are primary and
basic.
Probably the number-one cause
is
the same as the cause for all wars,
and all the troubles of humanity -
HUMAN NATURE!
Human nature is VANITY. Vanity is
self-love - self-centeredness. Human
nature is a PULL in the direction of van–
ity. It tends to consider
self
first , and
therefore elevate the self
above
all else.
This, in turo, exerts the pulls of lust,
greed, envy, jealousy and hatred.
Many t imes I have explained that
SELF is, in a larger sense, what 1 call
empirical - that is, like an empire.
It
includes what belongs to sel f, and that
to which self feels compatibly allied.
A young man and young woman
"fall in !ove" - or at least
think
they
do - and marry. In his mind, she
belongs to
him,
is allied to him and,
as long as things go well, like part
of him. He is the same to her.
But just as soon as things go wrong
- perhaps she denies him his desires
- perhaps he doesn't give her any
money, or fails to
be
considerate - just
as soon as one steps on the other's toes
- then the sense of alliance is broken.
Then SELF wells up
agaimt
the other.
Then the other is no longer PART of
self.
Then what?
Then she says, tn bitter resentment,
"All men are BRUTES !''
Then he says in equally bitter and
frustrated resentment, "She's a frigid
woman."
In other words, just what IS this
thing they usually mistake for LOVE?
It is NOT really LOVE. It is, rather, a
sort of sense of being enamored - cap–
tivated ( taken captive by), inflamed
11
A
majority of all un–
happy or broken mar–
riages that have been
brought to my attention
were those of people
who mar ri ed to o
young."
with passionate desire, blinded by
unreasoning ardor.
It
is a being impas–
sioned with anticipated rapturous
delight. In plainer language, it is
an aroused anticipation of what ooe
expects to GET, RECEIVE, to HAVE from
the other.
Real and
tme
love is basically an
OUTGOING CONCERN. lt
ÍS
OUT-going,
not JN-coming. When it is JN-coming
- as "!ove" falsely-so-called is in almost
every romance - it is in actual fact
LUST, not t ruly LOVE !
Regardless of the age at marriage,
surely more than 99 percent of all mar–
riages are based on th is FALSE "love."
Just as long as she pleases him - as
long as she gives him that delightful
sense of enamorment, of luscious en joy–
ment - he thinks he !oves her deeply.
In reality, he !oves what he receives
from her. This, in turn, gives him the
feeling that she is a PART of his empír–
ica! SELF. He !oves SELF - and as
long as she is able to remain, in his
sight, that allied part of SELF, he will
feel that he is in love with her. This
works both ways. As long as she is
pleased with him - receiving FROM
him what she desires - retaining the
sense of alliance - she will feel she is
in !ove with him.
The
SELF
is
simply carnality. It is
human nature.
What chance, then, does the average
marriage have? There are more factors
than this ooe involved. But, so long as
each
receives
from the other what satis–
fíes his or her SELF, the marriage will
last.
Another basic factor has been reli–
gion. Up until World War
I
the reli–
gious teachings of the W estern world
injected a sort of inbred conviction that
marriage MUST be maintained "until
death do us part." A large portion of
marriages
endured,
due to this coo–
viction, which today would end in
divorce.
Another factor, very prominent as a
CAUSE today, is the economic one. For–
merly women were mainly dependeot
on their husbands for economic security.
The very factor of SELF·PRESERVATION
held them to their husbands - drove
them to try to "satisfy him" under cir–
cumstances in which the modero wife
would rebel. Today, with so many wives
being employed, being independent,
they are far less impelled to satisfy their
husbands against their own desires, and
far more ready and willing to leave
them and break up their bornes. They
probably weren't real HOMES, anyway,
with the wife employed outside the
home.
Another prominent factor
is
this
modero "50-50" idea about "who wears
the trousers." When the husband abdi–
cates his responsibility, the wife takes it
over. Men were intended, by nature, to
take the lead and the responsibility.