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20
MOTHER UNLESS YOU ARE FIRST A
GOOD WJFE!
The minute we try to divorce parental
responsibilities from the husband-wife
role we are in trouble. Because children
are intimately bound to each parent.
The climate set by the husband and
wife
definitely
influences the climate in
which the child will be reared.
If a child is reared in turmoil, strife
and confusion, how can he learn stabil–
ity and peace? Children learn to imitate.
When the only thing they have at home
to imitate is constant bickering and
strife between father and mother, they
become hostile and aggressive towards
others, and lose the sensc of sccu r·
ity that comes from a warm home
rclationship.
The two people your child !oves most
in the world (at that early age) are
father and mother. The child wants to
see them happy, to
see
them together.
But when they are torn apart in strife,
the child's whole world seems insecure.
The emotional effects of a child in
this insecure environment are just
beginning to be realized. We are now
experiencing a generation that has been
reared - or rather, allowed to grow up
- in homes devoid of love and affec–
tion, in homes without proper rules
of conduct or organization.
No wonder we have a "runaway
generation" !
If
you are married, you have as your
first responsibility, your mate. You
should
make
your marriage a happy
one. Nothing is more worthwhile to
your own child. Loving your husband
or your wife totally is one of the great–
est benefits you can bestow on your
child!
It is not in the scope of this article to
cover husband-wife relationships. But if
you would like practica! guidc lines that
you could put into practice right now,
write for our free booklet,
Y
0111"
Mar–
riage Can Be Happy.
Next, parents and teen-agers alike
must begin building the bridge of
communication.
In a survey taken with young people,
this question was asked: "What do you
do when you are at home ?"
"The activity most often mentioned
was listen to records . About hal f men-
The
PLATN TRUTH
tioned having sorne household chores,
but in general, I got no sense of any
activities that were not solitary ones,
including watching
T.V.
In most cases,
I sensed
little real participation in fam–
ily life" (The Rtmaway Generation,
by
Bibi W ein, p. 308).
Give Your Children
H appy Memories !
Young people are unable to remember
much about their pre-adolescent relation–
ships with their parents. So why not
start by having a
memorable
family
activity?
Too often while parents are home
with their ch ildren, thcy might as well
be a hundred mi les away.
If
you're
going to spend time with your chil–
dren -
SPEND
JT!
Make it memorable.'
You need common interests in order
to have conversation.
If
you and a close
friend separate for quite a while, it is
difficult to converse when you meet
again. You may find that you have little
in common. You will have to spend
hours bringing one another up to date
on your various activities and expe–
riences. Each will have to do a consid–
erable amount of talking as well as
listening!
This is the key to re-establishing, to
rebuilding a bridge of communication
with your children. You will have to
find out what their interests are. You
will also have to bring them into con–
tact with your experiences. But even
here you will need a common bond of
experiences and interests.
One very helpful activity is
game par–
ticipation.
A family can purchase games
that can
be
played by two to eight
people. These can provide a number of
happy hours spent together.
It
brings
about a closeness and a commoo bond
- and provides
rommon interests.
A ping-pong table can be a great
place for a family gathering. Participa–
tion in table tennis will not only pro–
vide helpful family fun but will also
provide the basis for much conversation
and companionship.
Whatever H appened to Father ?
Men tend to involve themselves in
their work, their hobbies, their careers.
If
a father isn't careful, he can soon
March 197 1
find himself consumed with all kinds
of outside activities leaving little time
for his family - including his children
and his wife.
Many wives complain that their hus–
bands leave them alone too much. They
have vi rtually no companionshíp with
thei r husbands and the marriage suffers.
In the course of p lanning his life, a
man must recognize that he committed
himself to certain definite responsi–
bilities when he married. And these
responsibilities take prioríty over
most
personal preferences in his life. He
must insure that he
takes
enough time
to spend with his wife. This should
include taking his wife out occasionally
- having time alone with her for
conversation.
He also must set aside the proper
time for his family ·as a whole -
including his wife
and
children. This is
his
l'espomibilit)'!
This is his
duty!
As he fulfills these major responsi–
bilities and has time left over for per–
sonal interests, well and good.
But what happens in most cases ís
that a man wants to "have his cake and
eat it too." He wants to spend most of
his time working or engaged in his
favorite recreational activíties and hob–
bies. Then he hopes he has enough time
after work to devote to his family. And
it is usually his family that is left with–
out the proper attention.
The course each nation will take
depends on whether fathers and hus–
bands in that nation have the courage,
the fortitude, to fulfill family responsi–
bilities, by puttíng the job of father and
husband in its proper place as one of
life's most important responsibilities.
Perhaps sorne of you men should give
up club meetings. Sorne may need to
givc up certain recreation. There are
sorne men who belong to bowling
leagues, tennis clubs, swim clubs, hunt–
ing clubs, etc. A man must be willíng to
sacrifice sorne of them to fulfill his com–
mitment to his family!
If
men would recognize how impor–
tant their responsibilities are as hus–
bands and fathers, and give the proper
attention to their wives and chíldren,
then children wouldn't have to ask the
question: "What ever happened to
father ?" O