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30
SEX, LOVE,
and MARRIAGE
(Contintted from page
20}
broken.
They
should understand and
teach the
great p11rpose
of marríage.
And teen-agers, by the
living
exampie
of parents, should have long
ago become aware of what makes a
truly happy marriage.
But how can parents who often do
not practice these things be expected to
teach their children? And how can pas–
tors who do not know these principies
be expected to teach parents how to
teach their children
?
Very few teen-agers, even in this age
which vaunts its "frankness," are taught
- by
parentJ especial/)'
-
the really
essential knowledge they must have on
the subject of sex! Much of what they
learn is from the traditional "gutter."
Vital Help Not Giveo
Usually, the two critica! aspects of
parent-child relationship in the matter
of sexual and marriage guidance -
right parental example, and positive
teaching - are woefully neglected.
Whenever tecn-agers or young people
are interviewed, they almost always
complain that parents
oo
NOT
commu–
nicate with them - or set the right
example. Teen-agers feel uneasy and
afraid
to discuss problcms which crop
up in this vital arca of theír lives.
Often, there
is
ttbsoltt!ely no bond
between parent and teen-ager.
In one typical interview, a senior in
high school was asked to tell about her
parents. Her incrediblc answer was:
"1
reaJiy hale them both .
..
my
father is really a kind of pseudo-hip. 1
really pity bim because he's very
weak ... my mother's really dominat-
ing ... She delights in humíüatiog him
in front of us, tearing him clown"
(The
M111ic of Their Lall[!.hler,
Roderick
Thorp and Robert Blake, Harper and
Row, 1970, pages 83 and 84).
Later, this teen-ager was asked, "Do
you figure that your father loves your
mother ?" The answer was "No." Did
her mother love her father? Again, the
answer was "No."
Another girl, barely twenty years of
age, was asked whether she received sex
The
PLAIN TRUTH
instruction - and of her ability to
communicate with her parents - espe–
cially her father.
Her somewhat typical answer was:
"l have
110
respect for
my
fathel'.
I
don't think there's anything binding my
father and me. I never got any sex edu–
cation when
1
was younger.
1
carne by
it,
I
guess Jike most girls my age do, in
school, dirty jokes, dirty books"
(ibid.
,
page
96).
These examples are all too common
- a tragedy of our age. Parents have
Jost the respect of their soos and daugh–
ters. Often, parents
do 110t even reaiize
they've lost the confidence of their teen–
agers. Reason ? Parents have failed to
see the absolute necessity of commu–
nicating with and positively teaching
their chíldren from the earliest age.
The "reasons" and excuses are many.
Parents have farmed out their children
to fend for themselves. Mom workcd.
Dad was too busy with bis job. They
just didn't realize their responsibility.
Is it no wonder that teeo-agers cannot
look to parents for help in perhaps the
MOST
critica! years of their livcs? The
decisions they make
now
are going to
start them on the road to either success
or fa ilure.
December 1970
Sorne Advice For Parents
What should parents do? For those
who are just beginning to rear their
chi ldren - the time to start is
NOw!
Realize that you have an awesome
responsibility to teach the pliable minds
which have been entrusted to your cace.
Y
ou sti/J have time Jo avoid critica/
mistakes!
Be sure your own marriage is heading
in the right direction. Only then can it
serve as a right example during the
years your children develop and mature.
Above all,
teach
your children -
establish contact with them. Keep it
always. Don't let job, activities, selfish
interests interfcre with this absolute
11eed
your children have. They must have
contact, communicatioo, positive teach–
ing and instruction from
YOU.
The
world "out there," as they say, is a cruel
place. They need
yo11
-
even if they
don't want to admit it! They will
deeply apprec iate it later on.
We have three pieces of literature
which can help you to fulfill your
responsibility as parents.
One booklet,
FREE
of charge, is
called
Yo11r Mtlrriage Can Be Happy.
lt shows how you can build happioess
into your marriage so it can serve as an
example to your chi ldren and teen-agers.
You can also receive a free copy of
our
book,
The Piain Tmth About
Chi/d Rearing.
It
explains
HOW
parents
should train their children-throughout
infancy, early childhood and into the
teen-age years - to grow up to be
responsible adults.
You also need another specially pre–
pared book on the subject of dating and
marriage, titled
Modem Dating
-
Key
to SttcceJJ or Pai/11re
in
Marriage.
lt
covers such vital subjects as, "The Art
of Dating" and "How to Select a Mate."
Get your
FREE
copy by writing for it
today. All are sent
free
as an educational
service in the public interest. Simply ask
for them by name.
One final Word Por Teell-a[!.tm:
Communication is a two-way proccss.
Realize that two wrongs do not make
one right. Perhaps parents havc made
mistakes. Who hasn't? We are all
human.
But
fespond
to your parents. Listen
to their advice. Don't make the mistakes
they
may have made as teen-agers!
O