Basic HTML Version
The
~(YJ©~Ii~~
~~M~~~
will
itsurvive the 20th century?
"1
think marriage is a sorl of dead
end," a senior college coed stated.
" 1 have seen so many couples who
were very happy when they were
just living together. Then they de–
cided to get married, and after that
things really got to be a drag.
1
don't
know why ....
1
think if Bill and 1
were married. we would take each
other for granted. Now we really
appreciate each other and we both
regard our relationship as a very
precious thing. We wouldn't want to
spoil it by getting married, and I'm
afraid that's what's going to happen.
So as long as we are happy the way
we are, l don't see any point to get–
ting married."*
This coed is typical of thousands
of young people who have aban–
doned the idea of a lraditional fam–
ily a rrangement in favor of just
living togcther. She and h e r
counterparts clearly illustrate the
challenges that face marriage and
the family. Today. sociologists and
others question the nced for an in–
stitution like marriage. and are seri–
o u si y searching for viable
alternatives to the traditional family
setup. Every year it seems new ideas
are introduced by the
avant garde.
and many would like to do away
with the nuclear family altogether.
The Nuclear Famlly Deflned
But what is a "nuclear family." any–
way? In the past, a family consisted
*Interview with a senior college coed coha–
biting with a male student, reported in
The
Futurist,
December 1973, p. 250, in the ar–
ticle "Cohabitation: A Rcport on the Mar–
ried-Unmarried Life-Style."
10
by
Brian Knowles
of a father. a mo ther. children.
grandparents. and an assorlmenl of
aunts. uncles and other re la led de–
pendents. Today. sociologisls refer
10
this large g roup of relalives living
under lhe same roof or in the same
general region asan "extended fam–
ily." However. as more and more
families move into smaller single–
family dwelling units or move hun–
dreds or thousands of mi les away
from their closest relatives to pursue
job opportunities. the possibililies
for living in such an extended-fam–
ily situation narrow. Grandparents
are senl to " reti rement homcs' ' and
singles find their own apartmenls.
After this exodus. what remains is
the basic " nuclear family"- hus–
band. wife and child ren.
The extended family used
10
pro–
vide a great deal of stability and
emolional support for its members.
Children were exposed to a variety
of adults after whom lhey cou ld pat–
tern themselves. Relationships were
more diverse, and therefore less in–
tense. Family members didn't ex–
pect as much from each othcr
emotionally. But in the nuclear fam–
ily, members often feel trapped in
an extremely intense situation
where a few individuals are ex–
pected to provide al! of the love.
companionship, support and gratifi–
cation which formerly carne from a
great variety of sources. Family
members often tend to crack under
such severe strain. Husbands, wives
and children go their separate ways,
coming "home" only to sleep and
refuel. The nuclear family thus is
more fragile and much less stable
lhan the traditiona l extended fam–
ily.
Where then is the family as an
institution headed? Will it survive
this cenlury-or will il ultimately be–
come obsolete, going the way of the
dinosaur?
Charges Against the Family
If certain antifamily thinkers have
lheir way. that is exactly what will
happen- and rapidly. Mervyn Cad–
wallader writes: "Contemporary
marriage is a wretched institution.
lt
spells the end of voluntary affection.
of love freely given and joyously re–
ceived. Beautiful romances are
transmitted into dull marriages;
eventually the relationship becomes
constrictive, corrosive, grinding and
destruct ive" ("Changing Social
Mo res,"
Curren!,
February 1967. p.
48).
Cadwallader is not alone in his
opinion. British sociologist David
Cooper. who appears to harbor an
utter revulsion for the nuclear fam–
ily, would revolutionize society and
bring about a world of autonomous
persons. The famiJy. according to
Cooper. " ... obscurely filters out
most of our experience and then de–
prives our acts of any genuine and
generous spontaneity"
(The Death
ofthe Family,
Vintage Books. 1971.
p.
6).
Those who encourage alternate
life-styles regard the institution of
marriage and the contemporary
family relationship as obsolete, out–
moded and just plain decadent. The
family, they say, has few redeeming
features. They charge the typical
The
PLAIN TRUTH May 1977