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What Causes Burnout?
Our society has yet to take a
straight. honest. collective look at
motherhood and see it for what it is
- a tremendously rewarding. but
also tremendously demanding job
that can provide immense satis–
factions but sometimes exacts a ter–
rifle toll.
Marriage is a fantastic opportu–
nity for growth. and children give
parents an even greater opportunity
to grow and develop. But growth is
sometimes. perhaps more often than
not. a painful process. A young
woman should be thoroughly pre–
pared for the sacrifice. the self-de–
nial, the total givíng tha t's required
of a mother before she ever says " 1
do." She needs to be a thoroughly
mature person who " has her head
on stra ight." so to speak. She should
have lived. experienced. studied.
worked. traveled enough to know
what it means to give these things
up for a certa ín number of years to
become the willing serva nt of one or
more sma ll , emotiona lly and physi–
cally demanding human beings.
Young women may delude them–
selves into thinking they're prepared
for this giant step when they defi–
nítely a re not. They may have
bought the fairy ta le of Prince
Charming as the answer to all their
frustrati ons. when in actuality this
"happy ending" will only aggravate
their problems. Marriage is not for
immature people-and neither is
parenthood.
Women who have married with
this dream firmly in mind may be
unable to give it up long after the
honeymoon is over. Not ever having
been presented with an hones t alter–
native to this world 's false concept
of marriage and family life. they
compare their reality with the media
mirage and feel a vague or not-so–
vague dissatisfaction. but can't
really put their finger on the cause.
Perhaps they blame th emselves.
their husbands. their income. their
mother-in-law. or sorne o ther factor
for their unhappy situation.
But the real problem may be tha t
they are unable to leve! with them–
selves as to the real na ture of their
jobs. When they find out mother–
hood isn't all ftuffy pink dresses. tal–
cum powder and pleasant moments
in a rocking chair, they may not
18
know how to handle it- and they
may become prime candidates for
burnout.
Guilt Feellngs
There is nobody who feels guiltier
than a mother who paddles her
child for a minor infraction that
would have been ignored earlier in
the day. but which a t tha t moment
was just too much on top of the
noisy television. the rínging phone.
the overftowing garbage disposal.
and the newspaper-reading hus–
band wondering when dinner was
going to be ready. This can happen
to the same woman who. a few years
before. childless. vowed never to act
like those o ther mothers she saw
who ftew off the handle "for no
good reason" and seemed to be con–
stantly harried by a plethora of de–
ta ils. She wasn't prepared for the
possibility of her own burnout.
A wife who works outside the
home knows that the janitorial as–
pects of housewi fery a re not all that
overwhelming. In an urban environ–
ment. a couple of hours a day or less
of efficient effort usually suffice. But
add children. and you instantly
have a never-ending battle against
grime. clutter and inadvertent de–
st ructíon. On top of this add de–
mands for emotional s upport.
solace. geometry Iessons. and advice
to the puppy- lovelorn. and you have
a recipe for immínent mental break–
clown in many cases.
Having compared these stresses
of motherhood to the stresses of the
helping professions. the parallel is
obvious.
Hope Amidst the Ashes
But if professional burnout has been
diagnosed and labeled. what can be
done about it? Can it be minimized
or cured? Dr. Maslach and he r asso–
ciates found severa! effective ways
of dealing wi th the problem. First.
burnout rates were lower among
professionals who expressed and
shared their feelings with fell ow
workers or colleagues. Second. guilt–
free time away from the people they
served ·was of great help. And third .
education in dealíng with them–
selves and other people- prepara–
tion for the professional-client or
doctor-pa tient relationship- proved
immensely beneficia!.
lf you're a prospective mother (or
even if you've a lready had severa!
children). what can you personally
do to avoid the specter of burnout?
If professionals can be helped by
becomíng more educated in ínter–
personal skills, then such studies
should help mothers too. Perhaps
· no college or university offers the
exact classes needed to prepare for
motherhood. but takin g a few
courses in child growth and devel–
opment can help. Reading a good
number of books in this area may
a lso be extremely beneficia!. And it
might be good to stay well informed
on the advances made in recent
years in the study of human behav–
ior. Workers in this field have come
up with sorne remarkable practica!
understanding of human nature and
ways to work with it. At times their
suggestions lo udly echo biblical
principies.
But formal education isn' t the to–
tal answer. Perhaps sorne "field ex–
pe rience" (say. taking over for a
friend with severa! small children
while she and her husband go on
vacation) would be in order. But
even this won't give you a to tal feel
for what the job entails. since you 'll
be able to pack up and leave a t the
end of two or three weeks. Nonethe–
less. it can give you a general idea of
what you'll be in for. And if you
find you're just not cut out for such
strenuous work. you've discovered
this before it is too late. whi le alter–
natives are still available. Or you
may find that this is exactly what
you want to be deeply committed to
for a large portion ofyour life.
PeerSupport
Residen! psychiatrists and doctors
working in hospitals sometimes get
together in informal professional
groups to give each other advice
and support. But once they leave
the hospital and go into practice on
their own, they sometimes find they
desperately miss such contact.
Mothers need the same kind of
professiona l contact and support.
Sorne women today find themselves
to tally·isola ted from what in former
times would have been an intricate
ne twork of female famil y and
friends (mo thers. aunts. older sis–
ters) who would have served this
purpose. Now a woman may need
The
PLAIN TRUTH April 1977