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"Mini-Parliiments"-
First Step to the Breakup
of the United Kingdom?
LONDON: ln an effort to
satisfy the increasingly loud de–
mands of nationalists in Scot–
land and Wales, the British
governmen t has proposed a
"massive bandover" of powers
to regional assemblies · in the
two areas. But far from calming
strident voices. the new propos–
als have been met with a bar–
rage of
prote~t,
criticism and
denunciation from aU sides.
Wbat Harold Wílson's La–
bour government proposes is
the following:
Scotland would have a 142-
member assembly modeled on
the House of Commons with a
Scottish prime minister (called
lhe "Chief Executive") and a
cabinet government. 1t would
be empowered 10 make its own
laws.
Wales would have a 72-mem–
ber assembly, but with less
power, as the Welsh call for
"devolution" was less strident.
It
·would not be able io enac1
legislalion and would be run on
a
committee system.
Both assemblies would have
powers over a w.ide range of
fll'nctions: local government,
heallh, personal sociª" services,
education, housing, roads and
environment, and many aspects
of physical plán.ning.
But as far as · importan! na–
tional affairs go, London would
retain authority. Foreign policy,
national defense, Common
Market affairs, nationallaw and
order, foreign trade, and
eco–
nomic and financia! planning
ART BUCHWALD.
Giving
Giftsto Our
Friends
WASHINGTON: In years
past gift giving between the
Presiden! of the Uniled States
and
a
head of state was a simple
matter. One of the Président's
staff would caU up Tiffany's or
Steuben Glass or Neiman Mar–
cus and ask them to se lecl
wmething appropriate for a for–
eign di'gnilary.
Bu!_ those days seem to be
gone, and now wben a head of
state comes to the Wbite House
he expects a lot more.
Just the other day the presi–
den! of Lovlost-by-the-Sea paid
JANUARY 1976
come under this category. The
control of the purse strings .for
the two assemblies would also
be in the hands of the centr¡¡l
government; Scotland and
Wales would both receive a
block grant from the Westmin–
sler Parliament.
Controlling the budgets of
lhe "mini-parliarnents" is the
key to the government's plan.
Tbe Scots and the Welsh would
be given the responsibility over
much of their owÍI ·affairs, but
the "continuing frarnework of
the Uniied K.ingdom" is not to
be .tampered with. A federal so–
lution to nationalist demands is
ruled out.
R~erve
powers are lo
be held by London to see that
the new assemblies do not over-
step the mark.
.
The battle cry of the Scouish
1 know it's not the whisky
talkíng. Jock ... lt's the oí/.
a state visit to Washington and
this was what transpired.
Presiden! Yak of Lovlost-by–
the-Sea gave
~
gift first. "Presi–
den! Ford, on behalf of the citi–
zens of Lovlost-by-the-Sea
1
present you this beautiful silk tie
woven byoneofourmost famous
weavers and sewn by hand by six
virgins from the Calico Moun–
tain
areaofmy beautiful country.
And foryourlovelywife1present ,
this beer mug wbich was made
especially to celebrate the occa–
sion of the 10th anniversary of
odr independence."
"Thank you very mucb, Mr.
President. On behalf of the
people of the United States 1
would like lo give you a brand–
new steel foundry which we
shall finance for you."
"That's \ovely, Mr. Presiden!.
1 also would like to present
tó
you a book of proverbs written
by our most famous poet, Lo
nationalisls, "11's Scolland's
oil!" - Nortb Sea oil - lhus
receives a
firm
pul-down
in
the
government while paper. Por
Scotland lo control the oil reve–
nues would mean separatism
and lhe "break up of the United
Kingdom."
The reaction of the "Sco1
Nats" to the new parliamentary
~elup
was immediate and nega–
tive. "lt's a constitútional
mouse," said one. "The Scots
expected to be disappoinled.
They did nol expect to be in–
sulted. The white paper might
have been written on another
pl~net."
Tbe Welsh nationalists de–
clared the proposals were a
complete blunder and promised .
they would be doing their best
lo capitalize on tbem.
The opposition Liberal party
also thought that the new
scheme had failed lo go far
enough. Party Jeader Jeremy
Thorpe said the while paper
was an "appalling docu–
ment ... an absolule disasler."
The plans were Jike throwing a
doga bone withoul any meat on
it, added a Liberal spokesman.
The Conservative party took
tbe opposite tack. Far from
being .inadequate, the propos–
als, in its view, would be bound
to _produce 'áreas .of collfiict 'De–
lween the mini-parüaments and
the British government. "The
built-in difficulties wiiJ
be
ex–
ploited by the nationalists in or–
der to acbieve their declared
aim of wrecking the United
Kingdom," said depuly leader
Williarn Whitelaw.
lnevitably, as in dismantling
a watch, il is easier to take
something apart lhan lo pul it
together again from the pieces if
one goes too far. After aU, it has
taken more tban two-and-a-half
cenluries to build up the \lnitary
system of the United Kingdom
Tak, before he was put under
house arresi for attacking my
government."
"Thank
you, Presiden! Yak.
And although 1 cannot present
it to you personally.
r
want you
to have as a token ofour friend–
ship a squadron of P-4 fighter
planes which will be delivered
to your country in the next six
months."
"That is very kind of you,
Presiden! Ford, and il brings
tears to my eyes. ln exchange
please accept this coconut
which, as you will no\ice, has a
face carved on it that bears
a–
great resemblance tome."
"1 am overwhelmed, Presi–
den! Yak. Would you consider–
it out of li.ne if 1 gave you 300
beat-seeking missiles to go with
your fighter planes?"
"You've given us so mucb al–
ready, but 1 would not insult
you by refusing your wonderful
A PRODUCTION platform braves choppy North Sea waters. Most
of Britain's newfy found oil lies off Scottish soores, fueling Scottísh
nationalism as we/1 as British cars.
(since the voluntary union of
Scotland and_England in
1707).
'lt
is not something to be thrown
away overnight. That's why the
British government is proceed–
ing with caution. But to refuse
to respond at all to the clamor
for borne rule would mean po–
litical suicide for the Labour
party in Scotlan(! and Wales.
What
is
unclear at the mo–
ment is whether the proposals
themselves have stirred up so
gesture.
1
hope you will nol be
of!ended to accept, in exchange,
this
straw basket which was
made by one of our gréatest ar–
tisans before he was shot for
treason after the last coup
d'etat."
"A real straw basket!
1
shall
build a special case for it. And
now 1 have a surprise for yau.
Henry tells me you have your
heart set on
a
nuclear energy
plan!."
"1 told Henry it was just a
dream."
"WeU, we're going to make
your dream come true. Just
present this certificate to any
U.S. nuclear energy company
and they will honor it."
"Presiden! 'Ford, what can 1
say? Would you accept
in
ex–
change for it this elephant
bracelet made by the widow of
one of my former colonels in
thearmy?"
much reaction that separatism
will become inevitable in the fu–
ture. 1t is very possible that tbe
plans may backfire and only en–
courage a new wave of nation–
alistic antagonism against the
British govemment. The end re–
sult could be that of .Scotland
and Wales following tbe path
already trodden by the Repub–
lic of
1r~land
to complete
na–
tional independence.
- David Price
"l've always wanted an ele:
pbant bracelet. Henry, is there
anything else we can give
Presi~
dent Yak?"
"Y
ou forgot the submarines,
Presiden! Ford."
"Of course. Presiden! Yak, in
honor of the long friendship be–
tween our two great countries
v.¡e are
pres~nt.ing
you with 10
new subm.arines in any color
you wish to choose."
"1 shall teiÍ my people that
you are truly the greatest Presi–
de'nt the United States has ever
had."
"There's just one more thing,
·President Yak. Why does your
country always vote against the
United States on every United
Nations resolution?"
"Because, Presiden! Ford, we
have no choice. We have to vote
with our friends."
5