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A Father's Greatest Gift
Fathers sometimes wonder, "What would be the
best gift a father could give a son or daughter? Lots of
toys when little? A savings fund for a college education?
A modern home? Financia! security for life?"
The greatest gift a father can give his chi ldren
doesn't come with a price tag. The greatest gift a father
can give his son or daughter is
himself.
Extensive research reveals what should have been
known all along - that a father's presence is important
in the lives of his children. This is particularly true
during crucial preschool years when sex-role identi–
fication, personality. motor skills. creativity and ability
to achieve. among other things, are being molded.
In general, tests show that boys deprived of a
father's presence have less chances of growing up lo
become well-adjusted, happy. productive adults.
Father-deprived boys have less self-control and tend to
lack social responsibility. They tend to be less indepen–
dent and to have more feminine patterns of interests
and play. Such boys sutrer more emotional disturbances
and have difficulties in interpersonal relations. And it is
a proven fact that father-deprived boys are more likely
to become juvenile delinquents.
Less research has been compiled on the etrects of
father-absence on girls. But conductcd studies already
show that girls from father-absent homes especially suf–
fer in their ability to appropriately relate to males as
they grow into adulthood.
In addition. fathers must realize that they need to
spef\d more than just time with their children. Simply
being at home is not enough. The dad who comes home
and immediately takes a snooze on the couch, ftops
down and Hicks on the TV set or gocs about doing his
own thing. to the exclusion of his children, might as well
not be home as far as the children are concerned. The
quality of fatherly time spent with children is as impor–
tan! as the quantity.
A study of 172 undergraduate males by psy–
chologists Mark Reuter and Henry Biller discovered
that the most well adjusted were those whose fathcrs
were very loving and spent a good deal of time with
them. Those whose fathers were unloving. though
present. grew up undependable and immature. Those
whose fathers were loving. but seldom home. werc not
well adjusted either.
Another study by Dr. Biller,
to
determine the im–
portance of father-presence. involved four groups of
third-grade boys. The four groupings were these: earl)
father absence before age five. late father absence be–
ginning after age five, low father presence (less than six
hours per week), and high father presence (more than
two hours of father-chi ld interaction per day). The boys
in the high father presence group tested and graded
meaningfully higher in academic performance on
achievement tests than did the boyí. in eaeh of the other
groups.
The implications of these studies are severa!.
Fathers need to spcnd time with their children - qual–
ity time - teaching. instructing, guiding. loving. ami
playing with them. Children need their fathers. Moncy
can't buy what a father can give. And if a father will
sacrifice sorne of that career and other pursuits for the
sake of his children. the reward hc'll reap from it in
producing a happy. well-adjusted, productive membcr
of society will be well worth it.
-
Patrick
A.
Parne/1