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renta! example, one child said
concerning his father, "I think he
[father] presents an adequate ex–
ample of what 1 want to be or the
way I want to be. 1 don't respect him
because he says 'don't do this' and
hits me; I respect him because he's
able to say 'don't do this' and show
me that I don' t have to. For ex–
ample, he quit smoking and because
of that I can say my father did it; he
showed me the way, set an ex–
ample."
Parental Guidance
Children not only need a right
parental example, but also parental
guidance.
"Parents have to be parents," said
drug expert, Dr. Richard
H.
Blum,
in an exclusive
PLAIN
TRUTH inter–
view. "One of the sad things we saw
were parents arguing that they
wanted to be equal with their chil–
dren. pals. That 's a terrible appli–
cation. Who's going to be
responsible in that family? And if
the parents are currying the favor of
the ten-year-old, what may happen
is that the ten-year-old may become
boss. But the ten-year-old is going to
be in a panic.
" I know a thirteen-year-old in
that posítíon," contínued Dr. Blum,
"and I rníght add that she has be–
come very seriously involved with
drugs, is very obese, and will proba–
bly be hospitalízed very soon. Both
parents were so frightened of taking
power that they essentially surren–
dered to this thirteen-year-old girl.
But she didn't want to be parent. No
matter what she said, she didn't
want to be."
.
Dr. Blum emphasizes that parents
should examine sorne of the costs of
modern permissiveness. His re–
search and the research of many
others indicate that more parental
involvement and control in early de–
cision making, and more direct pa–
rental guidance is imperative.
There is a direct correlatíon be–
tween parents who give in to their
children's every whim and mo–
ment's desire, and potential drug in-
volvement. By contrast. cbildren
whose parents place importance on
obedience, respect for parents, re–
spect for authority, and perfor–
mance of family duties (taking care
of toys and belongings, pícking up
after oneself, making the bed and
doing certain chores around the
yard and house) are significantly
less likely to turn to drugs.
Children need guidance. They
need to know their limits, what their
parents expect of them, what they
can or cannot do. This gives them a
sense of security and peace of mind.
They have a framework they can
depend on.
At t he same time, house hold
duties and responsibilities around
the house and yard give children a
chance to exercise responsibility and
an opportunity to experience satis–
faction from accomplishment. Such
responsibilities also help develop a
certain amount of discipline and
character, giving children the ability
to better cope with the many prob–
lems and frustrations all of us have
to face from time to time.
Love
Every human being needs love,
especíally chíldren. There ís even
evidence that love may be neces–
sary for the maintenance of good
health. We all want to know some–
one cares about us. For children,
parental love is critica!.
"All children in our study demon–
strated how importan! their parents'
love is to them. Sorne stated thís
explicitly; sorne showed it through
resentment and misbebavior when
they felt abandoned by their par–
ents; and sorne merely implied it
through the high price they were
paying to maintain their parents' re–
gard.... As far as the youngsters
were concerned, what their parents
had to teach them was far more im–
portan! and effective tban anything
school teachers, officials, and law
enforcement and health experts
might tell them," writes Dr. Blum in
Horatio Alger's Children.
A study conducted by Dr. Nech-
PlAIN TRUTH December 1973