Basic HTML Version
sponse of letters, besides bundreds
of telephone calls from almost every
category of successful career men -
ministers, university professors, mil–
itary officers, school principals, ac–
countants, engineers and so forth.
They all asked something like tbis,
"Now that 1 am forty-seven, how
can
I
start doing something new and
challenging?"
One can scarcely avoid the paral–
lel between the mate response to
Drucker's article and the response
of females to a
1960
Redbook
article
entitled, "Why Young Mothers Feel
Trapped," which floored the maga–
zine's editors. Sorne
24,000
women
deluged
Redbook 's
mailing room
with tales of woe. How many more
readers had problems but didn't
write?
If it's any solace, housewives may
take comfort in the fact that bore–
dom, frustration and the "Who am
I?" syndrome is definitely not lim–
ited to females.
It
plagues men, too.
And not only ordinary men, but im–
portant men - men who sít at the
very pinnacle of power and who can
do whatever they desire. There was
ancient King Solomon, for example,
one of the wealthiest, wísest and
most powerful men who ever lived.
He complained in words that could
just as well have come from a
woman in Levittown, Pennsylvania,
or in Tapiola, Finland.
"Utterly vaín, utterly vain, every–
thing is vain," cried frustrated King
Solomon, echoing the lament of the
frustrated housewife. "Man [that is,
men and women in general]labours
at his toil under the sun; what does
he gain? The generations come and
go, but there the eartb ís, there shall
it remain .... AH things are aweary,
weary beyond words: the eye ís not
satisfied, the ear has never enough."
A very depressed and frustrated
King Solomon finally said,
"1
hated
life: for all that goes on under tbe
sun seemed evil to me, all of
it
vain
and futile. 1 hated all that 1 had
toiled at under the sun." You'll fiod
PLAIN TRUTH April 1973
these and similar words in the old
Testament book of Ecclesiastes,
chapters one and two, Moffatt trans–
lation.
Facing Practica! Problems
The foregoing may appear rather
philosophical and unrelated to the
everyday situations bombarding the
married woman. Therefore, before
examining these basic issues, let's
back up to sorne of the practica!
problems faced by a housewife. One
is the passing of the "full house"
plateau when the children have
come and gone. The housewife is
left with much energy, perhaps
sorne education and ski lls, and, in
an affiuent society, with not much to
do.
Sociologist Helena Z. Lopata has
explained the dilemma in these
terms: "Most of the female popu–
lation of American society is treated
as rather valueless once it has pro–
duced at least one child and reared
it to preadulthood. Thus, most
women are left in a situation similar
to that of retired roen, for 30 or
more years of their lives." The same
problem is increasingly a fact of life
in other affiuent nations.
Here's where a job or career
might well be a sensible and prac–
tica! way to help make life mean–
ingful and interesting. Still, will a
job or a career really answer the
question of "Wbo am 1?" for a
woman?
There is also the practica! diffi–
culty of being tíed down early in
marriage to the kids, cleaning and
cooking. Here are young women
who had been in a full round of so–
cial and intellectual pursuits. Then
whammo! Marriage and children -
perhaps one conceived or boro be–
fare marriage - strap the newlywed
to a very precarious and frustrating
relationship.
The wife suddenly finds herself in
a greatly restricted, vísed-in situ–
ation. Her children seem to contract
all the childhood illnesses. Soon
comes her complaint, "I'm vegetat–
ing" or "l'm tied down" or "Wish I
could get out." She faces the "1-talk–
to-kids-all-day-long" syndrome.
What ls to Be Done?
What can you do when your in–
telligence exceeds your present
housewife job requirements or when
your bona fide hopes and dreams
exceed reality? lt's not too much
consolation for a housewife
if
one
says, "Part of your problem ís the
structure of our society.
It
needs
drastic redirection."
It
does, of course. But merely
saying, "You shouldn't have to live
like this," seems like a cloud without
rain.
But where do we go from here?
Let's stop for a moment and ask
ourselves: "Have we been asking
too much of marriage?-" Consider
the following s tatement from a
woman:
"When marriage
is
the end of
your life, because you have no other
mission, it becomes a miserable,
tawdry thing." A lawyer's wife said
that wben being interviewed by a
psychologist - and she is absolutely
right.
Marriage,
of course,
is very sacred,
very important and sbould provide
great happiness. Most marriages
don't even begin to bríng tbe happi–
ness they could. But man and
woman
cannot live by marriage
a/one!
A woman who has no pur–
pose beyond marriage may well
continue to feel desperate.
Helena Lopata, the sociologist
quoted earlier, speaking from years
of experience and testíng, stated:
"Women deeply involved in the
wife-mother-housewife subculture
are prone to have restricted views of
tbe rest of the world."
Too lnvolved With
Marriage
Of course, a married woman
should be interested in borne deco–
rating, babies and so forth. These
19