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immaruriry kepr him from accepring
any responsibi liry beyond sex and
romance.
D iane was confused and somewhar
bitter. She rold Colin rhar she
wouldn'r have relarions wirh him
anymore. Colin still fclt an emocional
attachmenr ro Diane. bur rhe preg–
nancy complicared bis idea of a rela–
rionship. But ir was roo !are. Tbere
was no way ro call back che baby.
Had Diane and Coli n worked from
rhe premise rhat responsibiliry comes
firsr. rhey \VOuld never have gocren
sexually involved in rhe begi nning.
T hey wou ld havc avoided bcing
borne alone wirbour parenrs or in
sorne isolared spor where biological
impulse could rriumph over rcason
and responsibi li ry.
"W ill
You Promise ro
Su pport My Baby?"
One of rhe mos r rcnowned expercs
on rhe unwcd morher syndrome is
Clark E. Vincenr. He has used rhis
responsibiliry-firsr approach in ralking
wirh yourhs on college and high
school campuses. When speaking ro a
girl engaging in sexual relarions, Vin–
cenr may ask, "\'{fhy don'r you have
your boyfricnd sign an affidavic chat
he will assume all responsibiliry in
case rhere mighr be a baby:>"
Mosrly. che girls laugh. Bue on one
particular college campus. Vinccnt
had a fircside chac wirh sorne girls.
The\' wanred ro discuss rhis idea ar
grearer lengrh. Those having sexual
relarions had broughr up rhe idea of
che affidavir wi rh rhci r boyfricnds.
They did ir as a joke firsr. and rhen
gor angry ar rhe boys' responses and
really bcgan co wonder.
Ar rhc nexr firesidc char, rwo of
rhe small group recounred rhat rhey
disconrinued sexuaJ relarions because
of rheir boyfriends' refusal co consider
such an idea.
"Tbese girls." said Vincenr. ''had
begun ro be aware rhar perhaps rhey
didn·r know rhe fellows as well as
rhey rhough r rhey did."
There is srill one grave fail ing in
rhis approach. Ir forces rhe girl ro
PLAIN TRUTH September-October 1972
become rhe braking mecbanism on
sexual relarions. Boys, ir seems, feel
rhcy have a righr ro be promiscuous.
Yer, we know rhar ir is usually
( rhough chis is changing) rhe male
who is rbe aggressor. As rhere can be
no war wirhour a rnili rary aggressor,
rhere would be no unwanred babies
conceived our of wedlock wirhour a
sexual aggressor. The narion on rhe
defense is ar a disrincr disadvanrage.
Ir does nor know how rhe cnemy wi ll
srrike. Ofren rhe girl is on rhe defense
in a sexual relarionship. he is nor
always in rhe srrongesr posirion ro
ward off an advance. T he aggressor
malc can play on her "wcak" points.
There is an old saying rhar girls
give sex ro gcr !ove while boys give
!ove ro ger sex. ln facr, srudies show
rhar increasing numbers of gi rls feel
rhar sex before marriage is permissible
if ir comes
with alfectiun.
So boys. if
rhcy prorni se hcr anyrhing. promise
hcr !ove. The girl wanrs rhc attenrion
from her boyfriend. He mav lead her
ro bclieve rhar only sexual gifrs will
kccp him. Since cveryone clsc is doing
ir anyway, rhe female's defcnses are
easily sbarrered.
A virruous female characrerisric -
desiri ng ro !ove and be loved -
bccomcs a weapon in rhc male's love–
making arsenal. Such misuse of
female emotion can only lead ro larer
birrerncss in women. Birrcrness can
make a femalc unable ro exprcss open
and complete !ove in a larcr marriage
relarionsbip.
Clearly, boys rnusr realizc rhar ir is
primarily
their
responsibil iry ro say
" o!" ro premariral sexual relarion–
ships.
Unfortunately, rnosr couples nevcr
come ro chis realization. T hey are
unable ro see rhat sex separared from
rhe responsibili
ry
of a ·•one flesh"
relarionship in marriage brings dire
conscquences.
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n roo many cases_ rhe
rcsulr is an unwed morhcr and. more
rragically, an illegirimarc child. Bur
rhc child conceived out of wedlock is
mcrcly one unwanred by-produce.
Ycr. ir is che mosr real and che mosr
porenr evidence
agaimt
rhe "as-long-
as-ir-doesn 'r-hurt-anyone" philoso–
phy.
In order ro undersrand rhe prob–
lem more personally. ler's look in on
rhe suffering of a young couplc. rhe
vicrims of a premariral pregnancy.
The boy and girl do nor really exisr as
individuals. Bur pieces of rheir lives
do exisr in orher rcal-life couples -
rhe sharrcred pieces of dreams rhar
rurned inro nig hrmares.
"Whar Now, My Love?"
CJifT and Suzy - both reen-agcrs
- had been having sexual inrercourse
fo r rhe !ase rhree rnonrhs.
Ir
had hap–
pened for rhe firsr rime in Suzy's
home. Her parenrs were our for rhe
weekend. They larer found ro rbeir
dismay, like the parenrs of many
orher high school rccn-agers, rhar che
bome
-
of che girl. rhe boy or friends
- looms as rhe place where a large
percenrage of sexual inrcrcourse
begins and where babies are conccived
our of wedlock.
Suzy had begun ro worry abour
being prcgnanr rhrec weeks ago. On a
friend's advice and direcrion, she was
able ro have a ·'rabbir resr" adminis–
rered by a docror. Thc resr was posi–
ri ve. Suzy was pregnanr.
Now carne rhc trauma. How
would she break rhe news ro her par–
enes? Whar would rbe people at
school rhir1k? What would she do
wirh rhe baby?
Her firsr reacrion was ro cal! Cliff.
Cliff was ar borne rrying co concen–
trare on his srudies. Bur it was diffi–
culc. He and Suzy had ralked abour
the possibility of her being pregnanr.
Whar would he do if she were! Cliff
was planning ro arrend rhe local uni–
versiry. 13ur would he be able ro if he
were forced ro marry Suzy?
The ringing relephone inrerrupred
his rhoughrs. "Cliff, ir's for
yo
u.
1
r·s
Suzy." called our his fourreen-vear-old
sisrer.
Cliff hurried ro rhe phone and
whispered, "How did rhe resr go?"
"Oh. CliiT, ir's whar we were afraid
had happened. I'm pregnanr."
For a momenr. ClifT was speechless.
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