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PASTOR GENERAL'S REPORT, MAY 13, 1983
PAGE 10
trainers in El Salvador actually carrying a gun on a training
exercise. Not a briefcase, but a gun. The gnatcatchers set up a
loud chirping, President Reagan got embarrassed and the offending
officer was unceremoniously recalled.
Ravens: These are dour, doomsaying birds. They nest throughout
the U.S., but are particularly prevalent in Washington and New
York. Ravens like to give speeches or write editorials. When
ever a raven sees the smallest possibility of American military
involvement anywhere in the world it immediately thinks of Viet
nam.
It then croaks:
"Nevermore!"
The consequence of this
reflexive croaking is to make it more likely that other countries
will go the way of Vietnam.
Ostriches: They used to be rare birds in America, but have been
actively breeding here over the past decade.
They are big,
powerful birds, but when confronted with unpleasantness or danger
they stick their heads in the sand. This has permitted them to
avoid noticing that in recent years Angola, one or more Yemens,
Afghanistan and Nicaragua, among others, have all moved, or been
pushed, into the Soviet orbit.
Warblers:
These are popular birds who sing cheerful songs of
peace and friendship, freedom and democracy. The world, they
chirp, will be a happy place if only all of us will sing a peace
ful song. Warblers are widespread in America and in other West
ern democracies.
Most citizens of other countries don't have
much to warble about•.••
Magpies: They natter and nag. They don't take strong positions,
but rather sit on the fence, above the fray, reminding us of our
past mistakes. They are good at global perspectives and can cite
many examples of poverty and injustice around the world. They
frequently remind us that if there were no poverty or injustice
there would be no communism. They do not often add that if there
were no communism there would be less poverty and injustice.
Cuckoos:
These birds, who nest on Capitol Hill, have imposed
some peculiar logic on foreign policy. They've voted congres
sional resolutions prohibiting the U.S. from opposing two Marxist
regimes--in Angola and Nicaragua--while making it more difficult
for some Marxist-threatened governments to get U.S. military aid.
This basically leaves America in the position of providing secur
ity guarantees to hostile regimes while reducing American assist
ance to friendly regimes. To the cuckoos, of course, this is
logical.
Albatrosses: They are heavy-baggage birds. We seem to be stuck
carrying them about with us forever. They limit our movement.and
flexibility. Our biggest albatross is guilt. Guilt over killing
Sioux Indians, guilt over the Gadsden Purchase, guilt over having
a CIA, ••. Albatrosses are self-imposed burdens.
Grouse: They're a whiney sort of bird. They grouse that author
itarian governments are unworthy of our support. When authori
tarian governments are replaced by totalitarian governments they