Basic HTML Version
up. And please do be more care–
ful." The chi ld isn't branded as
totally inept, instead we express
faith in their ability to solve the
problem and be more careful.
So often we hear individuals
retort in sorne frustrating situat ion
with wild overstatements, such as
"You
a/ways
.. ."
or "You
nev–
er .
..
!"
The danger with such statements
is in creating a false or exaggerated
reality. The person we are accusing
probably at times does do what we
want. " You
never .
.."
starts to
programa false reality in the accus–
er's mind . That d iscourages the
accused person from doing any–
thing if the accuser so carelessly
forgets the beneficia! things he or
she has done.
Why not say, "Please, l would
appreciate it if you would...." Or
" Would you help me ...?" Or
"Would you please .. . ?"
We' re more apt to spout out sorne
curt or hurting words when we're
tired or emotionally upset. The chil–
dren run up and ask, "Read us a
story!" Or the wife asks, " 1 need
your help." Instead of a harsh ·"No!"
or "Don't bother me!" say " 1 am
exhausted and upset. Please wait a
while first, OK?"
You've explained your present
feelings without putting someone
down in the process. And you have
not closed the door to positive help
later.
Rather than responding to
someone's mistake with a demean–
ing put-down, we can show disap–
proval but still be respectful by
saying, " l don' t like what you
did ." Be speci fic about the situa–
tion. Don't la bel the person with
damaging names or shoot out a
clever put-down . You only create
o r compound bad feelings, or
another problem.
The key to saying helpful rath–
er than harmful words to others is
always to show
respect.
Break the Cycle
lf
you've been guilty of expressing
demeaning, putdown statements to
others, stop and ask yourself if you
would like them said to you. Of
course you wouldn't.
But if you now stop expressing
14
hurtful words to others there may
be sorne delay in favorable replies
to you. People you 've offended
wan t to know if you've really
changed.
It
may take time to heal
old wounds.
lf
others respond with
cu tting words, resist the temptation
to retort.
Break the vicious cycle of care–
less put-downs. Show respect and
care for the feeli ngs of others. In
time others will show more respect
and care for you.
" A soft answer turneth away
wrath, but grievous words sti r up
anger" (Prov. 15: l ). "A wholesome
tongue is a tree of Iife" (Prov. 15:4).
And: "Heaviness in the hcart of man
maketh it stoop: but a good ·word
maketh it glad" (Prov. 12:25). " He
that keepeth his mouth keepeth his
life ..."(Prov. 13:3).
What about you? Do your words
wound and hurt others? Or do they
help and edify? There are many
powerfu l warnings in scr ipture
about the consequences of our
words.
The uncontrolled tongue, said
the apostle J ames, " is an unruly
evi l, fu ll of deadly poison. There–
with bless we God ... and there–
with curse we men, whicb are made
after the similitude of God. Out of
the same mouth proceedeth bless–
ing and cursing. My brethren ,
these things ought not so to be"
( J as. 3:8-10).
T he mos t powerful warning
spoken a bo u t .o u r words is
expressed by Jesus Christ:
" ... for out of the abundance o f
the heart, the mouth speaketh. A
good man out of the good treasure
of the heart bri ngeth for th good
t h ings [including good words]:
and an evil man out of the evil
treasure bri ngeth forth evil things
[including evi l words]. But 1 say
unto you, That every idle word
that men shall speak, they shall
give account thereof in the day of
judgment" (Matt. 12:34-36) .
Strive to make your words,
words that help--not words that
hurt! o
The
ORIGINAL ANSWER
to age-old problems...
O
ur problems are many ... divorce rates spiral ... children are
increasingly defiant ... criminals too often run free while the aver–
age person worries about how to defend himself. People are paranoid.
Where will it all end? Can it only get worse?
Long ago, man was given a workable solution
to these mounting global problems.
The
plan
was called " The Ten Commandments" -
intended for man's own happiness and benefit.
And they work beautifully when applied.
Recapture these universal laws of peace and
harmony in
your
life. Send for the
free
booklet
The Ten Commandments
today!
fil
OUI
and
!Ni
lhe
h.1ndy
literill\ft
lt'ply
CMd
¡,
this
~.
0r
write to
lhe
l'fMn
Tllllh
office
neMeS!
you (see
inside
front
coverfor~).
The PLAIN TRUTH