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least- his basic responsibilities in
marriage!
Love and Respect
Certainly a man ought not to marry
a woman unless he really and truly
!oves her. Yet, sorrowfully, we
must acknowledge that mi llions of
men have never learned the mean–
ing of the word
/ove.
Because of
cheap novels, cheap movies and
wrong examples, they have all too
often learned to confuse !ove with
lust. T hey seem to think that a
base, animal sexual desire to
get
satisfaction from another person of
the opposite sex constitutes love.
Nothing could be further from the
truth!
·
For true love involves a giving, a
sharing of plans, hopes and dreams
between two people who want to
build an entire li fe together until
death does them part. If they are
not able to talk things over, smile
into each other's eyes, share little
joys and intimacies and st ick
together whe n the big trials
come- their love is lost indeed.
The apostle Paul commanded:
"Husbands, !ove your wives, and be
not bitter again st them" (Col.
3:
19).
Sorne husbands do allow
themselves quickly to become bit–
ter because their wives do not mea–
sure up to an angelic idol of perfec–
tion envisioned in their own human
imagi nations.
But a wife was never intended to
be an ido!. She was never designed
to be flawless in this life any more
than her husband was. She was not
intended to be a
perfect
housekeep–
er, mother, companion and also a
Hollywood sex goddess all wrapped
up in one individual.
She was designed and created,
however, by the Maker of us all , to
be a sweetheart, help and inspira–
tion to a man who would share him–
self with her, go over his plans,
hopes and dreams with her, give
her encouragement and guidance
and lead-not drive-their home in
an attitude of confidence and love.
So many scores of women have
cried out in despair: "My husband
just won't talk to me! That is why
we are not close- he just doesn't
share anything with me. He just
sits glumly at the table at mealtime
or reading a paper or watching TV
at night!"
November/ December 1984
Loving ls Sharing
Loving means sharing. Every hus–
band worthy of the name ought to
cu ltivate the habit of talking over
bis plans and hopes with his wife,
sharing with her many of his inner–
most thoughts and desires-not
just the negative ones! He should
make her feel deeply a part of him.
This very attítude and approach
means more to a woman than most
men can even realize.
A man needs to treat his wife as a
sweetheart. He needs to cultivate
and build an atmosphere of love,
romance and intimacy in their
home-kissing his wife when he
returns from work, holding her hand
as they are taking walks and embrac-
Throughout the Bible,
the relationship
between husbands and
wives is shown to be
the very type of
the relationship between
Jesus Christ and the
Church.
ing her often throughout the day
with free and lavish affection.
True !ove certainly involves deep
and abiding respect. A man ougbt to
be grateful and thankful that the
woman who is his wife has decided to
leave her own estate and cleave to
him above all others till death. He
ought to appreciate that fact- and
the many, many good qualities of
help, patience and service that prac–
tically every wife possesses. He
ought to encourage and bring out the
best in her-not constantly harp and
carp away at her in belittling criti–
cism, which only causes her, in most
cases, to respond in kind.
A man ought to respect the fact
that his wife is an adult human being
made in the image of God. He needs
to realize that someday-according
to God's plan-she can become a
g lorified spirit being ruling with
Christ over this earth, even manag–
ing angels! ( I Cor. 6:3).
Support and Encouragement
A man was intended by God not
only to be the head of the house but
to be t he provider as well.
God says: " But if any provide
not for bis own, and especially for
those of his own house, he hath
denied the faith, and is worse than
an infidel" (1 Tim. 5:8).
Man is his happiest when he is
building, increasing and providing.
He will never have real peace of
mind or abiding happiness · unless
he learns to fulfill this part in life.
His brain, body and desires al! cry
out for fulfillment in an occupation
to support himself and bis family.
But a really dedicated man will
certainly go far beyond just basic
support for his wife and children.
He will want to provide a proper
home for them- within bis means
and abilities.
However, merely giving physical
support to a wife is not enough to
fulfill her needs or the needs of her
husband. For every man needs to
learn to be encouraging and uplift–
ing to his wife, his children and
those around him. A wife certainly
needs this moral support many
t imes at the end of a hard day. A
real man should not expect bis wife
always to encourage and support
him. Rather, he should be ready,
able and desirous of encouraging
and uplifting her when she has her
down moments as well!
This type of mutual help and
support automatically increases the
deep love and respect that a mar–
ried couple will have for one anoth–
er. lf the partner is there with a
kind word, a gentle pat on the
shoulder, an encouraging embrace,
a look of compassion-this can
mean more than any number of
physical luxuries.
Leadership and Guidance
Another arca of responsibility–
and opportunity-for husbands is
that of leadership and guidance.
For God made the woman to phys–
ically and emotionally lean on the
manas her head and leader. Unless
a woman has by example or train–
ing developed a " libérated" ap–
proach to life, she naturally enjoys
being led and even dominated by a
man who respects, appreciates and
loves her.
Always remember there is a
major difference between "domí–
nate" and "domineer." A man
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