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that boys deprived of a father's
presence on average have more lim–
ited chances of g rowing up to
become well-adjusted, happy, pro–
ductive young men. According to
studies, father-deprived boys tend
to exercise less self-control and lack
somewhat in social responsibility.
Father-deprived girls also suffer
in similar ways and especially suf–
fer in their ability to relate appro–
priately to males as they grow into
adulthood.
Single-Parent Homes
Of course, the majar area of con–
cern in today's latchkey socíety is
the sing le-parent home . S pecial
effort by the parent in a single–
parent home must be made. Single
parents can succeed , but it takes
extra special effort .
All of the sound child-rearing
practices st ill apply. lnstead of hav–
ing two to share the parenta l work
load , the single parent becomes
Mom and Dad in giving necessary
guidance, instruction and correc–
tion , and in playing with children.
Television should not be allowed to
become a baby-sitter.
Single- parent mothers often face
financia! hardships. They a r e
today' s " new poor." We s peak
today of the "feminization" of pov–
erty because of fi nancia! d ifficult ies
that usually follow divorce andfor
casual sexual relationships.
According to sorne authorities,
in the U.S. , divorced women with
chi ldren suffer as muc h as a 73
percent decline in income in the
first year of divorce. Paying the
bilis, maintaining shelter, providi ng
necessary clothing, and j ust getting
enough to eat aren't easy. Stan–
dards of living have to be lowered.
Thriftiness must become a way of
life.
Not uncommonly, the same is
true for si ng le-parent homes head–
ed by a fathe1
1 •
Confid ed one s ingle-pa r e nt
mother about single parenting and
divorce:
"It
comes when you leas t
expect it.
It
hands out an overdose
of heartac he and then-as if that 's
not enough- when you are at your
weakest, it gives you a series of
headaches labeled money; children
who can't understand why their
daddy (or mommy) moved away;
ex-spouses who seem to see their
36
total purpose in life as the reopen–
ing of deep wounds; and loneliness
and self-doub t"
( Diary of a
Divorced Mo ther.
Mari lyn Murray
Willison, 1980, page 78).
Pick Up from Where You Are
Perhaps you are a single parent.
Though you didn't necessarily ask
to be in that position, you must go
forward. Pick up the pieces. Begin
where you are.
One mother found herself in just
suc h a plight.
It
wasn't her choice.
Her husband decided he no longer
desired or wanted the responsibil ity
of a wife and four children. There
she was, no job, no savings, no
Penal institutions are filled
with errant youths. For the
most part, they've gotten
into trouble because
they've lacked proper
parental guidance and
supervision.
credit , no driver 's license (she
didn' t really know how to d rive a
car), no immediate family to call on
for help.
When her first child-support
payment arr ived, she couldn' t even
get it cashed, lacking proper identi–
fication. But she picked up the
pieces and she began from where
she was.
She learned how to drive. She
fell back on an old skill and began
working part-time to supplement
her al imony and child support. A
tragic automobi le accident kept her
from working. As a result aJmost
all of her share of the money was
already spent whe n the family
home was sold. But she remained
undaunted. This mother of four
managed to raise her chi ldren witb–
out making them typical latchkey
children.
Whether you are a single-parent
mother, single-parent father, or a
two-parent family and needing both
of your incomes, you too can avoid
raising latchkey children. Find a
support system where poss ible.
Immediate fami ly, reliable neigh–
bors and friends can be caBed upon
for help if avai lable. T urn to proper
authorities and use legal means if
and when necessary. Don't leave
any stone unturned.
But by all means avoid leaving
your c hildren home alone for long
periods of time, even if they are
o ld er. Definitely avoi d leaving
toddlers by themselves for a ny
length of time. A good rule of
tbumb might be: Don' t ever leave
children under
12
borne aJone.
Final Advice
During those periods of time when
your children may have to be home
alone out of special necessity, keep
sorne vital points in mind. Befa re
leaving, make certain your chi ldren
know where you are going and
when you will be home.
If
possible, leave them the phone
number where you can be reached.
Call them if plans unexpectedly
change and you will be delayed. And
by all means, make sure they know
the phone numbers for emergency
help, police, fi re department.
Make sure your c hildren and
your ne ighbors a re acquainted.
Arrange with your neighbors to
keep an eye out for your chi ldren
befare you leave home. They can
help be your eyes and ears whi le
you're gone, watching out for your
childre n's safety.
See to it that your children are
properly occupied while you are
away. Schedule chores for them to
accomplish. Check to see that they
have done them when you return.
If
they haven' t , be sure to g ive
them proper correction so they
won ' t fail the next time around.
Be cautious if you uti lize a day–
care center or baby-sitter. There
are documented cases of sorne few
day-care centers, thougbt to be
reputable, actually being involved
in c hild abuse. Sorne baby-sitters
have done the same.
lt
is essential
to check out thoroughly any day–
care center or baby-sitter before–
hand.
Finally, remember that you are
responsible for your children. You
brought them into the world. You
hold the keys to their safety and
success. Other institut ions may
help, but final responsibili ty rests
squarely on your shoulders.
o
The
PLAIN TRUTH