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remember our experiences in the
beauty of the mountains. Each win–
ter at least four or five of our fam–
ily of seven still manage to meet on
the slopes.
Ethnic Traditions
Sorne of the strongest bonds in
many families are passed on from
generation to generation as a result
of cultural heritages from the land
of their ancest ry. Those customs
often retain cultural tastes in food ,
dress, dance and even in profes–
sions.
One custom was partic ularly
striking to my wife and me when
we spent the summer in J erusalem.
Along with nearly 50 Ambassador
College students, we participated in
the archaeological excavations at
the C ity of David dig.
We found Jerusalem a city of
apartments. We rented an apart–
ment and settled in for the sum–
mer. On Friday afternoon business–
es start closing shortly after noon as
mos t J ews in the city make Sab–
bath preparations.
A beautiful custom starts the
Sabbath each week. About
20
minutes before sundown, candles
are lighted in nearly every home.
l t's quite a sight. All over Jerusa-
i
lem through the windows you see
the ftickering lights of candles on
dining room tables. The fami ly
gathers around for dinner and
often engage in another J ewish
family tradition-singing Sabbath
hymns.
These traditions have been per–
petuated through many centuries
and serve not only to bind fami lies
together, but bind an enti re people
to an ancient heri tage and to their
God.
Learning a Trade
Another passing on of custom can
be that of a trade or profession.
Throughout most of history, chil–
dren learned the trade of their
fathers that had in turn been
learned from their fathers.
Because many modero societ ies
have g iven up such practices al to–
gether, crafts that have endured
for centuries are being lost.
Even if a youngster does not
wish to fo llow in his father 's foot–
s teps, if a trade, craft or profes–
sion has been learned, he will have
April 1983
something to fall back on.
lt's amazing today how few boys
do-or know how to do- any
household jobs, paint or me nd
things, change the oil or tune up
the car. Only a small number of
gi rls know how to sew, quilt or even
cook for that matter.
You see, in order to learn many
of these skills, you have to spend
time with your father or mother or
with grandparents.
S ince most o f us are not living
on a farm, we may not know how
to plant, cultivate, ha rvest , can
(bottle) or freeze vegetables and
fruit s. Eve n if ma ny fami l ies
wanted to have a vegetable gar–
den, they wouldn't know how to.
Ye t many middle-aged pa rents
have known how to plant a gar–
den- and almost every g randpar-
''
lt's time to revive sorne
old-fashioned
values and build more
permanent family
ties. lt might just save
your family.
''
ent had one; probably grew up on
a farm or in the country. Why
haven' t we passed on these fun and
useful skills?
If you have not learned any skills
that should have been perpetuated
in your family, why not take a little
time to backtrack and learn from
your father or mother in order to
pass them on to your son or daugh–
ter?
Building New Traditions
Maybe you are part of a family that
just does not have a long family
hi s tory. Perhaps you ha ve no
knowledge of your ancestry or even
of a craft of your parents.
But that should not stop you
establishing bonds in your family
now. Our own family Friday night
dinners and J anuary ski trips are
by no means passed on from my
wife's family o r mine. But 1 have
a fairly firm conviction these
new
family customs will be carried on
by our c hildren after they a re
married.
Recently we were transferred to
California where our two daughters
moved after they left home. You'11
be way ahead of me here, but do
you know where they have been
nearly every Friday night si nce we
moved? Right. At our house for
dinner.
So you see, new traditions can be
just as important as old ones.
lt's
Up
to You
Whether you have realized it or
no t , there a re rea lly -onl y two
courses of action to take. Either
build meaningful and lasting tradi–
tions in your fam ily, or drift into
" non traditions" that will cause
your family to split further and fur–
ther apart one from another.
Why not sit down this evening
and talk over what kind of relation–
ships will best benefit your fami ly?
Get out the old picture a lbum.
Recall granddad and grandma–
eve n your great g ra ndparents.
Maybe you'll bring up sorne long
lost part of your family pas t that
your c hildren have never even
heard before.
Then talk about what kind of
new customs you would likc to
incorporate into your famil y.
Obviously not every family will
find skiing the most practica! way
to spend their annual vacation. But
sorne of the most meaningful fami–
ly experiences can be worked
around a vacation. Perhaps visiting
national parks, or taking up camp–
ing, fish ing or other ou tdoor activi–
ties, will be something your family
can enjoy.
Onc of the best ways to spend
vacation time is to hold regular
family reunions such as havc been
mentioned in this article.
So whether you decide on spe–
cial vacation trips, outdoor camp–
outs, Friday ni ght or Sunday
afte rnoon dinners, or not hing
more than a quiet afternoon in
your own backyard , make up your
mind t o bu ild st r o ng fami l y
bonds. You ' ll always be glad you
did. Someday your grandchildren
will thank you for establishing
fami ly bonds that will be passed
on to their c hildren and to gcner–
ations yet to come.
o
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