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would not Jet myself hear before–
the fears and feel ings of sorne who
have fought our movement."
Mrs. Friedan, the mother of
three, is being criticized by other
femi nists for her turnabout , but
insists:
" The so-called radical feminists
developed a lot of rhetoric against
the family and against the role of
woman as defined in the fami–
ly ... but a lot of it was twisted
somehow and began to be repudia–
tion [of the family]. throwing the
baby out wi th the bath water. They
seemed to create the impression
that the all- important thing was
career a nd profession, a nd ...
downplayed the part of woman that
is defined in terms of love and nu r–
turing"
(The Christian Science
Monitor.
December 1
O,
1981 ).
Sorne new women's groups say
they have gone beyond the second
stage to stage three. Babette Fran–
cis, founder of an Australian group
called " Women Who Want to Be
Women," was quoted in England's
Daily Telegraph:
"Women will not
truly be free until motherhood is
given the status of a viable career in
its own right-with all the feelings
of self-worth and independence
that such status implies"
(The Dai–
ly Telegraph,
D ecember ll,
198 1).
Also from
The Daily Telegraph:
" In Canada, Mrs. Cather ine Bolger
has Iaunched a similar crusade with
the publication of a series of news–
paper cri ticisms of the 'Genderless
Society,' calling for a re newed
appreciation of the value of the dif–
ferences between the sexes."
But even though Mrs. Friedan
and other women's groups are say–
ing they never meant for the femi–
nist movement to deny family or to
label men "the enemy," it hap–
pened never theless. Alienation be–
tween the sexes, varying from the
str ident to the unspoken and spo–
ken suspicions, has been only one of
many unwelcomed fruits of the so–
caBed liberation movement. Men
and women have gone through such
a tumult uous alteration of tradi–
tional thinking and values that both
sexes appear confused.
How Do You Treat a Woman?
Men in today's world are often per–
plexed. How do you treat these
26
" new" women ? Sorne women are
offend ed at chival rous conduct
while others bemoan the demise of
chivalry. Is it Miss, Ms. or Mrs.?
Career or family or both? What do
women really want?
Women aren 't sure anymore.
They too are often confused. Espe–
ciall y those who embraced the
more radical elements of the
women's liberation movement.
Also entering the picture is
human nature. Women who once
felt sorry for those women of past
generations who were "trapped at
home" now find themselves also
without a choice- forced out of the
home by social and economic pres–
sures unexperienced by the majori–
ty of their mothers and grandmoth–
ers.
These new women find they are
expected to have a career outside
the borne, not only by their friends
and neighbors, but in ma ny
instances by their husbands. In
such circums ta nces, home an d
hearth can Iook a lot more appeal–
ing.
Having time to enjoy thei r chil–
dren and to get involved in their
interests, time to spend with hus–
bands, time to exercise, time to
develop an interesti ng hobby–
these are, t ragically, luxury items
for most working women. Women
are complaining they don't have
enough time to themselves- and
they don't. Women are trapped,
really trapped this t ime, Iocked into
a demanding, stress-filled life-style
by economic pressures, many times
beyond tbeir cont rol.
Even middle- income fami lies
who Jook to the t raditional rule of
thumb-that no more than 25 per–
cent of monthly income be allotted
to pay for rent or for mortgage
principal, interest and laxes- are
vir tually cut off from any hope of
home ownership. Seventy-five per–
cent of American families don't
make that much money. Women
are feeling the pressure to stay in
the job market.
Most couples go into marriage
today assuming both members will
work, even after c h ildren come
along. Their bright dreams for the
future are predicated on it.
And, of course, sorne couples'
dreams are brighter than others.
They want success a nd all the
material trappings that go along
with it. And they don't want to wait
around forever to have and enjoy
those things.
Attaining the heights defined in
this world as success exacts a high
cost, and too often too much com–
p romise o f principies. There's
something wrong with a system
that pressures men, and women, to
become workaholics, climbing over
their co-workers to succeed, leaving
broken families in their wake. No
one, man or woman, should bow to
the forces of greed in this competi–
tive, materialistic world we live in.
Needlng One Another
T he incredibly sad part of this
whole issue is that men and women
need each other so badly. No one
should have to face today's fast–
paced, nerve-jangling world all
alone. Most everyone needs a close
inti mate someone, wbo can be
depended upon to provoke one to
push a little harder when discou r–
aged, to comfort when down, to be
honest about a faul t. Someone to
share life's joys and trials and who
will be around to reminisce abou t
them afterward.
Men need women and women
need men. And both need to know
they're needed. The recogni t ion of
that mutual need should be con–
stantly rei nforced. O ne of the
major divisive points of the so–
called liberation movement has
been the dis regard for those very
human needs between men and
women.
Human beings need to be loved,
comforted, appreciated. Most of
the misunderstandings between the
sexes could be avoided and elimi–
nated by admitting and expressing
those needs. Sucb admissions and
expressions would lead to mutual
appreciation and respect, and go a
long way toward healing past
wounds.
It's time to call a t ruce in this
foolish no-win war. Time to
regroup and reevaluate, time for
peaceful negotiat10ns, time to go
forward toward reconstruction and
building for the future. None of
which will be possible withou t giv–
ing up the selfish way of get and
cultivating the way of give--of !ove
and outgoing concern for another.
(Continued on page 30)
The PLAIN TRUTH