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then return to the office thinking no one would notice.
I was on the waiting list for page boy at CBS, in
Hollywood, and had tried out in two auditions for TV talent shows.
My goal was television, or the movies, or, failing these, nightclub
entertaining. But WHILE I was waiting for my "big break" to come
(like, I suppose, hundreds of thousands of equally deluded would-
be entertainers do) I needed beer and cigarette money (as I wryly
put it). The office job provided that -- even though I did not
like the environment.
But then a crushing blow to my ego struck! College was
about to begin. My father called me in -- explained to me there
was a student employment program which provided nearly all students
with on-campus jobs. He said I could not continue to work in the
mailing office; that my position would be given to one of the older
students, whose job elsewhere would be taken by one of the incoming
freshmen. BUT, he said, I could continue -- without any drop in
pay (I was making the staggering sum of $42.50 per week for
directing 11 other employees!) IF I WOULD SIGN UP FOR A MINIMUM OF
TWELVE HOURS OF CLASSES IN AMBASSADOR COLLEGE.
He told me to think it over. I felt it was a trick. I
just "knew" he "wanted me under his thumb" and had some ulterior
motive of merely trying to "live my life for me" and "dominate" me!
That his WHOLE motives were love and concern -- and a deep desire
for MY HAPPINESS never occurred to my closed, carnal mind. But I
found I could take speech classes -- and I knew this would be
helpful, if I were to become successful on the stage at a later
date. Also at Ambassador was a very fine voice instructor, Mr.
Leon Ettinger, who was just beginning to pioneer the Ambassador
Chorale. I had always enjoyed singing -- wanted to do it
professionally. I found that, by taking speech, journalism,
chorale, voice lessons and physical education I could get by with
only ONE "Bible class" (a required course -- and the only one I
really wanted to avoid). So, while it was a blow to my fancied
independence and pride -- I relented. I signed up for a light
college load.
At first, I paid no attention whatever in the "Church
History" course. I drew pictures -- looked out the window --
slept. I had no special problems in any other classes -- except
with my clandestine smoking and rotten attitude, that is. But a
little more than midway through that college year, I happened to
pick up and read the lead article in a series being run by a
leading national news and pictorial magazine.
The series was being written as a survey of all the world's
major religions -- beginning with "Christianity." Many famous
theologians (and I knew that these dignified and respected
gentlemen had a RIGHT to be right -- but that my own physical
flesh-and-blood father did NOT have a right to be right!) were
contributing. One of the leading ones (still very much so, in the
United States) was asked to write an article introducing the
series. "First," he wrote -- or words to this effect, "let us
understand what Christianity IS NOT!" "It is NOT," he emphatically
stated, "a way of life!"