In this letter to you I intend to move away from what I
normally write and have a heart-to-heart talk, so-to-speak with all of you
instead. All of you men who have been Spokesman Club members in past years
and gave your 12th speech know what I mean by heart-to-heart.
Today, June 7th, marks the 46th year since my ordination into
the ministry of Jesus Christ by God's late apostle, Mr. Herbert W.
Armstrong. Labor Day will mark the 52nd year of our baptism, 1952.
Reminiscing —
While studying and meditating on the prayers of David in
Psalms 71 this morning, I began reminiscing over the many years of my life
and especially so from the time God graced and blessed us in our youth to be
added to His Church.
Like David we have been in deep water many times in our lives
and have experienced deliverance each time. Now we are old and gray and the
problems even seem harder. This undoubtedly was behind David's prayer when
he asked God not to forsake him since he was then old and gray. I sometimes
pray the same prayer.
Looking back over those past years, there were situations and
circumstances from real early age in life that could have meant my death and
continued through the years.
Deliverance from Death’s Door —
I could also have been killed during World War II while in
combat in Germany as an infantryman, and numerous times since. I could just
as easily have been killed in 1958 in the automobile accident from which Mr.
Richard D. Armstrong died but God in His great mercy saw fit to spare my
life each time. Like you who sometimes ask the same question about
yourselves, I do not know the full answers as to why.
Since I was the cause of the accident and Mr. Richard
Armstrong died from it, I could have been sent to prison. A Highway
Patrolman at the scene of the accident told me later in the hospital that if
anyone died from the accident I would go to prison. Though two of the women
(4 total, I believe) other people were in the car into which we crashed were
severely injured in the accident, no one else died from it. As it turned out
I was not prosecuted.
You cannot imagine the grief I experienced because of this
tragedy. I wished that it had been my life instead of his. But it did not
work that way. I loved that man dearly. He was a real friend and that made
it all the harder. At the same time I felt that by my being at fault in the
accident I was going to destroy the work. God did not let it happen for
which I was very grateful to Him.
There have been the times when my life was in danger with
hostile people outside of the Church and twice by men who were suppose to be
members in the Church. Each time I was unaware of their intent until I was
told about it.
We have lived under threats by hostile men whose wives had
become members; and by one man whose daughter wanted to become a member. I
was attacked with fists by another man. Again, God in His awesome and
wonderful mercy saw fit to deliver me each time.
My wife and I have had to cling to God and to each other
during many of the trials that have come upon us while serving in God's
ministry, and also problems outside the Church.
We are now old as was David in the time he was led by God to
pen that Psalm and we find the problems have never let up. They continue to
be ongoing with little respite in between. Yet I know as the Bible tells us
trials are necessary for the development of our character and to strengthen
our relationship with our Father and our Savior Jesus Christ (James 1:2-3).
Mistakes Made —
At the outside I will say the mistakes I have made over the
years were honest ones. And there are the errors I sometimes make yet though
it is not my intention.
I have told you in past sermons about Mr. Armstrong finding
it necessary to correct me rather severely in, I believe 1959. I am not sure
I told you that he threatened to remove me as an elder.
The year before this occurred I was in charge of the
organization of the whole Feast operation in Big Sandy, Texas (up to this
time our only Feast site).
During the Feast I was approached by two deacons (later made
ministers) who told me the setup for the meals for the members dining that
had been organized by another longtime and honored deacon just would not
work. There were too many people who would be eating their meals there and
limited dining space. They showed me their plan and I could see they were
right and I told them to change it. And they did.
By doing this I made a mistake in judgment for I should have
gone to the other deacon and had them get together and work it out. This
later became known to Mr. Armstrong along with other things of which I was
accused and of which I was not guilty.
Mr. Armstrong knew my heart was right and he did not follow
through with his threat. He threatened me to make sure I got the point. At
the same time he told me that I did not know what I was doing wrong or I
would not be doing it. He knew me that well.
Mr. David Hulme had me to come to Pasadena to correct me over
what I had said about not trusting him to another member and for saying
there was going to be a split which I do not recall having said. I believe
it was at this time, perhaps another, that he said his wife (Robin, before
she died) had told him that I had a good heart.
Brethren, I have had to pray fervently with fastings over the
many years, while confessing my shortcomings, asking God to forgive me and
to keep me in His loving care while asking for the wisdom and understanding
that I needed with discernment. Even so there are some things that just seem
to slip up on us and catch us off guard.
Human Mistakes By All —
At the same time I know as human beings all of us have our
short comings and we have to cry out to God often with tears to forgive and
renew a right spirit within us (I John 1:5-10).
I remember Mr. Armstrong saying one time in a sermon, in
response to some of his accusers, to be careful for as he said we all live
under glass houses (meaning rocks of accusations can break into those
glasses. No one is immune from them.)
It is also in my memory when Mr. Armstrong had said that he
had to sometimes pray as did David in the 51st Psalm -- with tears while
pleading with God to forgive and renew a right heart within him. The point
is no one is perfect, regardless of who we are, though our hearts have to be
right with Him.
Letter Continued —
(Due to other things I broke off with my writing on the 7th
and am now continuing on the 11th)
A Long Ongoing Problem —
Miracles with My Wife —
My wife hemorrhaged for 12 years before God healed her.
Numerous times she was at death's door, but God always brought her back.
In 1987 during the Feast of Tabernacles in Tucson the doctor
took our daughter and me aside and told us my wife was not going to make it
for her major body functions were beginning to shut down. Our daughter and
I returned to the motel and knelt and prayed together about it. The next
day her body functions were much improved.
Two or three times it was necessary to give her better than 7
pints of blood. In order for her to understand how low she was in blood one
doctor told her to consider a car that requires 5 quarts of oil. He said you
are down three. The last time after having to wheel her into the hospital
the doctor told her, "Lady, you are a strong lady but you are a sick lady.
We have people coming in here with more blood than you have and they die!"
Problems in General —
Brethren, though our problems are usually different from
others, we all have them. And God's promises are there for you just as they
are for us. God is NO respecter of His people. He loves you just as much as
He does us. There is nothing too great or too small for God to take care of
for us.
To enable us to see this more fully, I may yet use letters
from members over the years who wrote of the miracles God performed for them
in a sermon as well as some that I personally am knowledgeable of with
others.
The Priceless Blessing of Serving Others —
Brethren, I thank God for the priceless blessing that He has
made possible for me to be able to serve all of you a little bit. I also
thank God for the men and women here in the Modesto Church who are very
dedicated in helping me to serve you. At the same time I thank God for all
of you out there who pray for us as well as help us in many different ways
to make possible our service to you.
The day is soon coming when our trials and troubles will be
in the past and God will wipe away the tears from our eyes as newly born
members of His divine Family (Revelation 21:1-4). Believe it for this is
going to take place.
In the meantime we know that whatever trails we are subjected
are permitted by God so perhaps we can think of them as to bring us to the
finish of the development of character we have been trying very hard to
develop over the years. Please remember God through the apostle Paul tells
us they are intended to work together for our good (Romans 8:28).
In regard to our trials and tests we should try as hard as
we can to make sure that whatever we might have to suffer would be for
righteousness sake and not because of our own unthinking mistakes.
It is my hope and prayer that all of us can profit from the
human errors we have made in the past and since been blessed with enough of
God's wisdom to refrain from any future ones.
Many of you are going through some very difficult trials as
of now of one kind or another. A number of you are unemployed and that is a
problem of itself. Though it may be awhile before all of you are able to get
employment, God promises He will make sure you will have your needs supplied
(Matthew 6:25-, plus.). I plan on basing my sermon on an aspect of this
tomorrow (Sabbath).
Please pray for us as we also pray for all of you,
Don Billingsley
