In my writing this time it seems God has guided me through His Holy Spirit to write about a related area to the end-time prophetic events of which little thought is devoted. Yet it has and will  affect the whole Church of God.  It is even more important to all of us than knowing whether it is time for the Church to flee, or whatever else we might be looking for to take place on the world scene. 

 How Are We Being Viewed By God —

The question should be asked of  ourselves as to what value will be the place of safety or the coming of Christ be to you or to me if we ourselves should be found to be unacceptable by Him at the coming crucial times? It would be devastating and heartbreaking to find ourselves left behind to face unimaginable horrors knowing others have been accepted by God and in-route to a place of refuge. 

It is so very easy to live our lives as if there will be no tomorrow – no final judgment made by Christ as to whether we will be found acceptable to Him! Sad to say, it would appear that many are living their lives in just that manner!  (Matthew 7:24-27)

Always it is easy for us to judge others in the areas of acceptance or rejection, but what about facing the question ourselves in the mirror of God’s teachings? 

 Rising To Meet Christ In The Air —

We could very well end up like the evangelist who spoke in a sermon years ago about a dream he had of himself that pictured the time of the coming of Jesus Christ. He said, “While looking at others who were ascending to meet Christ in the air I found myself still on the ground and I began flapping my arms up and down trying to join them and was unable to get off the ground!” 

Could this be you or me? How so dreadfully sorrowful and heartbreaking this could be for any of us if this should come to be our lot.

We cannot take our promise of salvation for granted for God tells us that we have to work it out with fear and trembling while considering the dangers and difficulties (Philippians 2:12). When Jesus Christ spoke to us of enduring, He also meant to be faithfully enduring while having a right and close relationship with Him.  (Luke 13:23-25)

It should be realized that before this is all over there will be virtually every kind of a test that will come along between here and there that will bring about such real intense pressure on us as to test us to the very innermost core of our very beings to turn away from God, reject His way of life, His commandments, and a few or all of the restored truths. Satan will see to that! (I Peter 5:8;  Revelation 12:8-12)

Our Sticking Point? —

During the Feast of Tabernacles in Squaw Valley, California , possibly 1961 or 1962, Dr. Charles Dorothy, now deceased, gave a sermonette that was entitled, "What is your Sticking Point?" I have often thought about the title of this subject and really wondered what it would take for you or me to come to the point, of whatever it might be, to say, "This far, and no farther, I quit! I have had it! I am out of here!" -- meaning the Church of God.

A Related Area, Selling Out? —

In the mid-50s, I walked into part of the Administration Office of Ambassador College and I heard Mr. Bolivar O’Rear, deceased, non-member, but legal advisor for the College and Church at the time, saying to others in the room, “Every man has a price!”  While looking at him, I replied, “I don’t.” 

He looked at me and insisted that everyone does including me!

This is the world he knew.  He had worked for the IRS for years and apparently had seen much of what he was saying reflected in the tax forms submitted to the Internal Revenue Department.

When we look at the world around us and the Church itself we can see the truth of that which he spoke. Sad to say many ministers and members have also had their price and have received their pay of 30 pieces of silver in one form of another, or yet will; unless they stand up to be counted! 

Dishonesty and hypocrisy is still on-going through the use of human reason, desire for recognition, leadership, a following, salary, family and Church relationships, and friendship itself, instead of the fellowship we ought to have that comes through prayer and Bible study with God the Father and our Savior Jesus Christ. (I John 1:3)

It seems God permits every kind of a test that one can think of to come our way to pressure us to the breaking point to see whether or not we will let our very strong passions,  feeling sorry for ourselves, disappointment, discouragement, depression, or  ________ _________ ________ (you fill in the blank spaces) take control of our lives and rule over us instead of asking God for His Holy Spirit to help us to put down these feelings within us and remain in the greatest blessing that could ever take place with anyone.

My Observations —

In my almost 46 years as an ordained elder and pastor in God's Church I have witnessed any number of times such things taking place with one and another, and I still see them.  Instead of saying to self, “This is just another test and something from which I should learn that is needed for the development of my character”,  self, says: “If this is the way it is I do not want to be here anymore; I am leaving!”

 Suicide —

Some have taken what they thought at the time was the only way out for them by committing suicide. During the five year I served in the Big Sandy, Texas area, I knew of seven people who did that very thing in that area. It was also done here and there in other areas. These people felt they could no longer cope with the stress and strain of their problems. 

In reality this did not solve anything for they will wake up in the resurrection and will have to deal with what they did by facing Christ with it.

Needless to say this was both shocking and heart-breaking for their families

 A Corporate Church To Fit The Desires —

Others delude themselves into believing they are still within the Church by making a move from one corporate Church to another that is often headed by leaders who have removed their own selves from any real relationship with Jesus Christ.  The blind leading the blind.

At the same time it is necessary for the true members to remove themselves from the wrong places and find one that is truly faithful to all of the true teachings God used His late apostle to restore within His Church.  That is a wise and correct move.

Self-justification —

There are those who are in the process of being caught up in the same self deceptive net of Satan due to human reason just as did Adam who blamed Eve for eating from the wrong tree! Satan continues to spin his deceptive web through his powers to get any and all of us to sympathize and justify ourselves for our wrong actions and then blame God for what we have done! “Self Pity!” 

 I once had a woman to tell me, “God is not fair!” This was said to me after I pointed out to her she would be sinning by moving in with a man without marriage.

Members have been giving up or selling out due to one reason or another, such as: ______________ __________________ ______________, You fill in the blank spaces.
       
Then there are the others who have endured real hard trials and remained faithful in spite of what Satan used leaders and even family members to do to them. They were being faithful to the love for God that all of us must continue to have for Him regardless of heavy trials even to beatings, prison, death, or whatever.  (Luke 14:26-27)

Nameless Examples —

To enable all of you to better understand, I intend to cite just a few of the many trials God’s people have experienced in past years that I personally was involved with while trying to help them.  While you read of these members, it is my hope you will ask yourself what would you have done in similar circumstances? 

More than trying to put yourselves into the shoes of these people I will cite, please realize what they had to endure is to soon come on the Church big-time and will affect all of us in one way or another until the elect is very probably thrust out!  

A Wife and Mother, California  —

In earlier years a woman left her husband because of a divorce and remarriage problem.  The husband had her picked up and taken to the mental ward of a hospital to have her examined for insanity.  She was confined in a very small room all by herself for 3 days with nothing but her Bible.

At the conclusion of this period of time two psychiatrists who had questioned her recommended to the judge she be declared mentally incompetent and not be allowed to have custody of her children. The reason: She went too much by the Bible teachings. 

Due to the lack of signatures on the paperwork by the psychiatrists the judge threw the case out.  Quite some time went by before she was able to rejoin her children.  When I took her to pick them up her baby no longer knew her and cried because of being in the arms of a strange woman.

QUESTION: What would you have done in similar circumstances?  Would you have said, “I cannot possibly endure this kind of a trial!  It is too hard for me to have to give up my children, my baby, and possibly be committed here with the insane and demon-possessed people for a very long time to come!” 

There was much more mental suffering afterwards for this lady before it was all over! And over the years to come there were the other trials she had to endure before her life ended a few short years ago; but she remained faithful all the way to the end.

 A Wife and Mother, Louisiana —

A similar situation took place in Louisiana and for the same reasons.  This woman was put into the mental institution and remained there for some period of  time. Even the doctor knew she was there for the wrong reasons! He said as such much during one meeting with her: “There is nothing wrong with you except you are ‘hep’ on your religion!”  Nevertheless they kept her in that place until her husband said it was all right for the officials to release her. 

While she was there she told me that all the patients were lined up one day to be given the oral polio vaccine on a sugar cube and was placed on their tongues.  She was going to spit it out at the water fountain but another patient warned her against doing it, saying, “They will put you in a strait jacket and force you to do it.” 

Finally her husband upon the urging and crying of their children had the doctors to release her.

Once she had them, and found the opportunity, she fled with the children to the Church area where I was in fear of being put back into the mental institution. She remained there with us for some time before returning to Louisiana.

QUESTION: How would you have fared under similar circumstances? Would you have said, “This is enough I am going to leave God’s Church for I do not want to be locked up with demon-possessed people and  be in a place where they lock up people and keep them confined even though it is acknowledged there is nothing wrong with me except for my  religious beliefs?  They throw away the key! I cannot handle this! No more of this for me!”

A Wife and Mother, West Virginia —

Because of her religious beliefs a young woman in her early 20s, and mother of a small baby, was being highly pressured by her husband to give this crazy religion up. It would appear that after they had a very emotional encounter one night, and a threat by him that he was going to have her put into a mental institution, she called her parents.

Deeply troubled,  while in her nightie, she went out for a short walk in a secluded wooded area back of their home to be alone with God, which she sometimes did.

While she was there two law officers came up to where she was and made her get into a police car and took her to jail. They would not even let her dress.

At the same time her parents were driving into the town where she lived. This was about midnight. As they drove by a service station they saw her in the backseat of a police car and knew she was being taken to jail.

I was called by the parents early the next morning and joined them at the jail. They let me go up to see her and then permitted her to come down from where she was imprisoned to see her parents.

She had no personal belongings, not even a comb. I loaned her mine to comb her hair which was very much in need. Amazingly she was calm and talked quietly to us about the situation.

This young mother had been jailed on the top floor of an old three-story old building. In this large room was an old mattress in the middle of the room with no covers and the windows were open, but barred. It was cold. 

I saw all this when the jailers let me go up to see her before they let her come down to where her parents were.

She was released a little later in the custody of her parents.

QUESTION: How would you have reacted under similar circumstances? Would you have said, “God, where are You?  Why did You not deliver me from such an awful and humiliating experience?  Why did I have to experience this terrible thing and not be with my baby?  I cannot handle this anymore!  It is too much!””

A Different Kind of a Test —

Some years ago, I had a woman to tell me of a very pathetic and tragic situation that had involved herself and a top official in the Church some few years before she talked to me. A situation that came before Mr. Armstrong and based on lies that were told to him by a top minister and others, Mr. Armstrong dispelled her from attending Ambassador College and she was sent home.

Mr. Armstrong was led to believe she was lying about this man while trying to destroy his reputation.

I had known this woman since she was a teenager, and knew the people involved, and because she felt close to me she felt the need to tell me what had happened to her.  She was totally innocent and had the evidence to prove it but it was not shown to Mr. Armstrong – only the lies.  She died a few years ago without Mr. Armstrong ever knowing the truth.

(A minister who was very honest and close to Mr. Armstrong stated that the wrong decisions that were made by him were due to the wrong things that were said to him by top officials.)

An added comment: There was no question in my mind but that she was telling me the truth.  She had been misjudged and by God’s apostle. She had every reason to be embittered from a human point of view against God’s apostle and the officials under him in authority.  Yet she only seemed saddened and hurt by it rather than being embittered.

QUESTION: What would have been your reaction under similar circumstances?

An added note: One cannot help but wonder how many other members were hurt, lied about, and whatever else, and became so embittered as to leave the Church.  Some endured, and others probably didn’t. Could something like this have been your sticking point?

Bitterness —

I knew a preaching elder who was also a faculty member and a highly intelligent and able man. Yet he was always passed by as one to be elevated into a higher office while seeing others not his equal be raised to the highest levels.

He said to me at the Feast of Tabernacles in the latter 60s, “One thing I know, you and I will never be raised in rank!”  I was later; he never was.  It was sad for me to learn that he become very bitter in the closing years of his life; I loved that man.

It is true that many of the ordinations were not really from God but rather because of who they knew or were political.

Some undoubtedly  were  overlooked that should probably have been elevated, while others were ordained that should have never been! We have come to realize this from what we have come to see in the past few years.

It should not matter to any of us what area of service, or whatever level of office, or whether we even have an office, the important thing is that we should want to be used in whatever capacity God chooses to use us. 

Knowing the human nature we all have, we have to continually struggle within ourselves to have a right heart and spirit so that God can use us to be helpful to His people.

Bitterness can come easily and for any reason big or small.  This should be realized by each one of us and Satan will do his best to get us into this kind of an attitude.  Mr. Armstrong once stated to a few of us ministers assembled before him, “Fellows you can have faults and God will forgive you, but do not ever let your attitude go bad for if you do there is no hope for you!  (Please read Hebrews 12:15)

The Difficulty in Accepting Correction —

Mr. Armstrong has often said the most difficult thing for anyone to admit is that he or she is wrong! There are those who cannot handle correction and will sometimes become bitter after having received it.  After being corrected, the thought is too often like this: “If this is the way it is, I quit!  I just won’t do anything anymore!”

I know this to be true for that is what I experienced years ago after being corrected by Mr. Armstrong at the very beginning of the Feast of Tabernacles in Big Sandy, Texas regarding part of my responsibility of preparing the organization for the Feast.

Without going into a lengthy writing on this I will only say that though he saw my overall problem he was wrong in other areas in which he scolded me.  He did say in my favor that had I known what I was doing wrong I would not have done it.

Afterwards, I said to myself, "Then I won’t do anything!" 

It was only a fleeting thought for I continued with my responsibility.  However I will add that was not my most enjoyable Feast of Tabernacles; but it was a very memorable and profitable one for me. I often have reflected on this with the realization that I needed what he told me in his correction. 

Always we should want to be corrected when we are wrong so we want harm anyone or ourselves with the wrong.  And when we are corrected, fight like everything not to let bitterness take us over and possibly destroy us (Hebrews 12:5-17).

Meaningless Things —

In one Church area in which I worked as an associate pastor, I was told by the pastor that he had received a phone call from one of the members stating that he and his family were leaving the Church. Upon checking into the reason for their leaving it was found to have started over an extremely small trivial matter.

While attending the Feast of Tabernacles, this family and another, from the same Church area, had rented a house in which they were to live throughout the Feast. One day a decision was to be made by the two wives regarding a meal to be cooked by them. 

It was to be chicken and a falling out developed between them over how it should be cooked.  This is where it started and BUILT UP over some little time to the point this one family was going to leave the Church.

This is easy to laugh at, but, brethren, it is often the little things that can bring about resentment that can lead to bitterness, and then cause division within the Church of God, and sometimes departure from it.

QUESTION: Has anything similar ever happened to you?  Is it now happening with you? 

Being Put on the Spot —

In past years I have questioned some members about this or that which involved wrongdoing on their part and have had some to intentionally lie to me or withheld the truth.

Three that I remember later admitted to me they had lied. Though there was no excuse for it in the first place it was good to know they knew they could not live with it and then came and freely admitted they had lied to me.

QUESTION: What about you in similar circumstances?  What would it take for you to lie to retain a friendship, relationship, or whatever. It is both tragic and appalling to realize how often this kind of a thing can go on with an individual or a corporate Church. 

Is A Lie Ever Justifiable? ---

Recently I read in the “Journal” (A Church publication), the elders in charge of the largest corporate Church of God are going to discuss at a later date the question that had come up in one area of the Church, “Is it ever permissible to LIE?” -- "whether or not it would be permissible to lie under certain circumstances" and whether the command regarding 'bear[ing] false witness' includes lying?" This is hard to grasp!

Discuss whether it is ever justifiable to lie? Has there ever been a question about this subject voiced before Mr. Armstrong? Was this not a commandment given by God at Mount Sinai regarding the bearing of false witness, which is lying (Exodus 20:16; Revelation 21:8)?  Is it still valid, or was it done away -- as we were told by the apostate ministry of WCG? Even the Protestant commentaries acknowledge that the commandment of bearing false witness has to to with lying!   

How can any true member sleep on as if there are no real problems within this Church!   

Members would do well to remember the example of Ananias and his wife Sapphira who were put on the spot by the apostle Peter and gave false witness to their previous actions.  When questioned, both lied and both died immediately because of lying to God (Acts 5:1-11).  What does witness mean? An attesting of a fact, statement, evidence, testimony.  Check your own Dictionary. 

Brethren, we must develop some real fear of the Almighty God who is now judging us by the way we live our lives based on His holy and righteous laws! We must overcome our present problems and strengthen ourselves to meet the real challenges and threat to all that we hold dear and precious to us that will be fully realized before too much longer.  So far we have only seen the tip of the iceberg regarding trial and persecutions.

Are we prepared for them and determined nothing will separate us from the love for God and His truth? (Romans 8:31-39)  I truly hope all of us have this kind of an attitude for we must have it to make it all the way.

Jesus Christ has also forewarned us so as to not to be offended and fall away when we begin to see and experience these coming trials on the church of God. (John 16:1-4)

To Be Continued

Brethren, this has become too lengthy for me to send all of what I have written at this time. There are yet five more pages that could be sent but I will plan on sending them next time.

The other five pages deal more directly with the persecution that is yet ahead of us.  A time that is not talked or written about all that much, but one that we very much need to be knowledgeable of in order to be preparing for it as much as we can both mentally and spiritually.

Until next time, your servant in Christ,

Don Billingsley

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